ZooMama Chronicles

No Time to Grieve (2)

2011-11-20T10:16:00.000-08:00

I left you last with the horror birthing a baby that I would never hold in my arms, into a toilet.

I now take you to the next day.

It was just that. Another day.

My girlfriend came over to make sure that I was resting. she put the children to the chores that they were trying to wiggle out of, she prepared dinner, and helped me put together a birthday cake for my husband.

You see, October 26th, the day I labored and bled and lost a blessed life to the sewers, was my husband's birthday.

Now, the date reserved in our family to specifically celebrate my husband's life will also be the date that I remember as filled with pain and grief.

And. Yes, there's more. And, my husband's uncle died that day. His uncle was that kind of uncle that all the kids love. The kind whose relationship didn't dim or end as the children grew. He was a good friend. A man who always had time to listen. A man for whom a surprise visit was never an imposition.

I hope Uncle Tony is rocking our baby.

No Time to Grieve

2011-11-11T09:12:00.000-08:00

*Please note that details regarding this miscarriage are not withheld, and may be viewed as stark, grisly, and overwhelming.*

The last time I posted, I was expecting. My family was planning for a new baby. We were choosing names, deciding how to rearrange closets, planning the purchase of a new stroller, marking the calendar.
Now, when we flip the 2012 calendar over to May, we will see the due date marked, but we won't have a baby that is due on that date.
Our baby was born on October 26, 2011. She shouldn't have been. She had already died at 7 1/2 weeks gestation, but she stayed with me for another 6 weeks.
I had been to the OB, and and two ultra sounds confirmed that the baby was far too small, that there was not growth, and no heartbeat. I walked around for a month and a half knowing that the baby we had been planning for and had grown to love already, was dead.
For six weeks, the hormones that the baby's tissues and the pregnancy products put off rendered me still morning sick. My breasts were still tender, and constant hunger continued to plague me.
We told our children that the baby had died. They had many questions, good ones, too. They wanted to know if the baby was coming home soon, whey did the baby die, and would they get to see the baby. It helped to answer their questions. I didn't have a definite answer for all of them, but they accepted that, too.
I had a decision to make. I needed to decide if I would allow things to progress naturally, with out a defined time frame, take a pill that would induce labor, or have a D&C. None of those options sounded good to me.
So, I waited.
Then, I began to bleed. And I cried. I have miscarried before. Last time, that baby was only 3 or 4 weeks gestation, and we hadn't had time to adjust our emotions to expecting and loving a baby. That miscarriage was, physically, very easy. More like a heavy period and embarrassingly easy to dismiss. At least, I thought I had dismissed it.
Now, though, I called a friend, and told her that I was bleeding. She came to my house and picked me up, along with my little ones, and took us to her house.
Then, the surprise came. I started having contractions. They were hard, painful ones. Just like labor.
I bled and bled and bled. I'm not sure I have actually seen so much blood. Every time I had a baby in the hospital, the blood was cleaned up before I was up and around to see any of it. This time, there was no doctor, no nurse, no orderly.
So I labored, over a toilet. I already knew that the baby was too small for me to recognize. That even if I bled into a bucket and saved everything, I would never find it. So, I didn't. I bled into the toilet instead.
I flushed my baby down the toilet.
This slays me. This hurts, and disgusts me.

*more to come...*

2011-09-24T07:45:00.000-07:00

I've said before, right on this very blog, that I refuse to be ruled by my circumstances.

I have taken a stand against circumstances. I would NOT allow things to happen TO me.

BUT - I missed out.

Circumstances do happen. Things often happen to people. That's part of life. We are not in control of the universe.

What I missed out on, possibly~probably, was...

GROWTH

Two friends have mentioned this recently.

One spoke of learning to love through even through the circumstances that robbed her son of what we call a full life and deprived her of the 'common' joys of motherhood.

The other spoke of Paul, and his prayers for the churches of his day. He did not pray that circumstances would change. He prayed that people would grow through those circumstances.

Things happen, and I can choose whether I act or re-act.

Even when crushed, I can choose whether to glorify my pain or my God.

In a Hurry

2011-09-17T08:13:00.000-07:00

When you are buying hair conditioner, and you read the label and find the word conditioning, don't assume anything.

I shampooed my hair twice this morning.

If you see frizzy Cousin It traipsing about today, just wave and smile!

Here We Go Again!

2011-09-09T07:06:00.001-07:00

It appears we'll be adding another creature to TheZoo.

*I know, we thought that, too!*

We believe that His plans are better than our own,
so here's to the New Zoo Review.

We don't know what kind we're getting, but we know about when.

Now's the time to figure out an addition to the building,

or mucking it out in the real estate world!

Please join is in prayer, planning, and laughing along this unexpected adventure!

New Blog Design!

2011-08-18T00:27:00.000-07:00

Hey! Check out the new ZooMama Chronicles blog design!
More fun to come!

Planning for School

2011-08-07T23:01:00.000-07:00

I was in the throes of planning for another year of home education. There was a panic creeping in, as I kept glancing at the calendar, counting out the too few weeks left between today and the start of the local school year.

I'm not near ready. Forms haven't been sent to the school, final okays and purchases of curriculum and material haven't been done, and my lofty plans to organize the past few years of school disarray never came to fruition.

Then I remembered.

We didn't receive last year's curriculum until January of '11. Giving us until January of '12 to finish.
Relief, calm, exhale.

Then, the realization that I am right on task!

I am where I want to be in the planning stages for next year. This organization stuff just might pan out!

Wowskies!

2011-08-06T15:14:00.000-07:00

It's terribly exciting. My FaceBook business page Made by the ZooMama has just under 300 fans.

My heart is palpitating.

I'm breaking out in a nervous sweat.

The most intelligent thing I can think of to say is

"Freaking Sweeeeeeeeeeet!"

Crochet Adventures!

2011-08-04T09:34:00.000-07:00

My husband thought maybe he was indulging me in just another hobby. Something I might start and not finish. Something I'd give up on after a bit. Yes, I do that.

Then I SOLD some of the things I made. Yeah! Really! That got me pretty excited. Now I crochet anytime I can. Mostly in the dead of night when everyone has gone to sleep. Occasionally, when Jerry has a day off, I crochet all day and finish a few items.

Some of what I've made recently is listed on my FaceBook page MadeBytheZooMama.

Check out the Zoo's new adventure, and pass it along!

Where on EARTH have I Been?

2011-08-03T10:44:00.000-07:00

I've been crocheting!

Okay, there are so many other things, too. Housekeeping, childraising, preparing for another year of home education. We even took a short vacation! (more to come on that!)

Mostly, I've been working up hats in all sorts of shapes and sizes. I've given most of them away, but I also sold some! I'm hoping to sell more. Can't wait to see what happens with this venture~! You can find me Facebook page under 'Made by the ZooMama'! Come visit!

Anniversay Celebration! (Pt.2)

2011-04-04T19:24:00.001-07:00

As promised, part two of the Amazing Anniversary Adventure.

If you know our family, you know that adventure is a regular part of our lives. Why would something go smoothly when it could be memorable, instead?

After we had a nice home cooked breakfast and the snow tires were back on the van, we attempted the pass again. The area where we were previously bogged down was now clear and wet. We still encountered snow further up, but made it to our first 'plan B' destination. We shopped and ate and chatted and held hands walking up and down the cobblestone roads. Without a stroller!

We headed on toward our final destination and checked in to the resort. The room was fantastic. Mostly because it was ONE room with ONE bed. No cribs, no pallets, no cots, no fold out couch. And television! You laugh, but we don't have television at home. We watched the news and American Idol, and flipped through a bunch of unfamiliar shows. And took a nap!

Dinner was great. There was no mac'n' cheese. No PBJ. No pizza. There was Lambchops with Pomegranate Molasses, asparagus, marinated flank steak, and salad with croutons that no one stole!

The next morning, I soaked in the tub with a book. No one pounded on the door shouting their extreme emergency of "He LOOKED at me!" Hubby took a walk on the beach. Later, when I went out on the deck I saw that he had drawn in the sand "I (heart) U!" How freaking romantic is that ?!?!?!

Then, we took another nap. We had a late check out for purchasing the date night package, and we were so tired. Hard to believe, I know. Then there was a pounding at the door. Housekeeping wondered if we would be leaving soon. She knocked 45 minutes early. *sigh*

We did check out and made a beeline for Starbucks. Hubby noticed the building for the local radio station, so he tuned in. We were making our way toward home when we heard that the pass we were headed for was closed due to an avalanche. Another change in plans. Fortunately we had left early. We were planning on stopping in to a couple of places on the way home. Instead, we headed toward another pass, which extended our drive time by a couple of hours.

We stopped at a pub called Pour Me for lunch. I liked the name. If a place has a punny name, I'll probably do business there.

We made it back to our home city to find out that the road home was closed due to flooding.
Double *sigh*.

Fortunately, one set of friends kept a couple of the kiddos one more night, and another set of friends put the rest of us up for the evening. We had a great visit and hung around leisurely the next morning while hubby went out to check on the road.

We finally made it home. We're already in the midst of planning another adventure.

My brother is getting married in another state.

Any bets on smooth sailing?

Anniversay Celebration! (Pt.1)

2011-03-30T08:39:00.000-07:00

What made me imagine that my family could embark on adventure without the 'adventure'? Who knows. It all began with the idea of Hubby and myself going overnight someplace - without the Zoo. The sitter search began. It didn't take long. We have wonderful, generous friends that actually like us and enjoy our children. We had two places to split up six kiddos. There's where the adventure really begins.

One of the sitters fell ill. These things happen, no hard feelings. BUT - now what? The sitter that was left bravely (and maybe foolishly) offered to take all six. Well, she has a daughter with some physical challenges that prove nighttime to be difficult. The idea of having all of those kids, with two of mine still two and younger possibly not sleeping well away from home, gave ME nightmares!

So, again, I put out the call and three more people responded almost immediately. Angels!
The kiddos are all delivered, parents see the smallest ones successfully tucked in, and go home to pack up and sleep before the early morning departure to a tranquil lakeside retreat.

We got up around 5 am, stopped for coffee, and took off. Conversation, lovely, uninterrupted, fully thought through conversation! Oh, how I have missed my husband! Yes, he comes home every night. We just don't often talk to one another.

About this close >-< to the top of a rather long incline, we encounter snow. Loads and loads of snow. Snow falling, snow on the ground, snow piled up 7 feet on either side of the road. But, we saw snowplows going down, so they must be headed back up, soon. We fishtail and slide and get stuck. It's fantastic riding along in Hubby's little rollerskate.

After several tries, including an attempt to drive behind a snowplow, we turn around and head for home.

Here we are, Hubby is putting the snow tires back on the van, a bucket of chains in the back. I am making breakfast. We are giving it another go! Wish us luck. Lots of it, please!

(to be cont'd...)

The Plant

2011-02-17T10:23:00.000-08:00

My daughter needed two potted plants for a science experiment.
I bought them, then left them in the back of the van for a week.
They stayed in place, and the soil was still moist when I finally removed them from the van.
As I brought them into the house, I noticed that they looked very different from one another.
One was healthy...
and the other wasn't...

Both plants were the same, grown at the same nursery, both were shipped in the same truck, both sat for sale at the same store, were bought by the same person, were checked out at the same check stand. Both plants endured the same harrowing ride in the back of the van over the next week. I hadn't forgotten about them. I know they were safely nestled in their places and wouldn't fall over. I knew they had plenty of water, and I had a plan for both of them.
But they reacted differently. One plant stayed healthy and whole, beautiful to look at.
The other one...didn't. It is in a sad state. The leaves are wilted, and it seems to have no desire to return to it's healthy state.
Both plants are now in a sunny window, both are being cared for and looked after. I still have a purpose for both plants. I can still use them. Even the sad, sick one.
I hope the healthy one continues to flourish.
I hope the sad, sick one becomes healthy and whole.

Just a Short Little Nap, Please?

2011-01-17T20:55:00.000-08:00

"One day, Jesus said to his disciples, "Let's cross over to the other side of the lake." so they got into a boat and started out. On the way across, Jesus lay down for a nap. And while he was sleeping, the wind began to rise. A fierce storm developed and began to swamp them, and they were in real danger."

Luke 8:22-23

I'm guessing that Jesus didn't take a nap because he was in a bad mood, or that he wasn't content with his ministry. I can be certain, because of scripture, that Jesus didn't lay down for a nap because he just couldn't handle his hectic schedule and wanted to get away from it all.

He DID have a hectic schedule. He DID have people clamoring for his attention everywhere he went. He DID have people constantly question his wisdom. He was away from his family and home during his ministry.

Any bets that Jesus lay down for a nap because he was tired?

Moms, when you say you need a nap, when your flesh is ready for a rest, does it happen this way for you, too?

I lay down, I close my eyes. My muscles begin to relax, my joints loosen, then BAM! The "wind begins to rise". Something happens that calls me out from my place of rest.

If I went to the resting place with an attitude of having 'had it up to here', then when something with the children requires me to get up from my rest, I am going to be, well, less than happy about it.

If I have been joyful (choosing to be content, even when things aren't going MY way), then an interruption to my rest will be dealt with peacefully and perhaps I can return to rest.

May those times I seek out rest be to renew my flesh, not to escape life!

Hard Life

2011-01-13T09:47:00.000-08:00

We sift through the advice, the warnings, the advertisements. We ask questions, we pray, we read and research. And sometimes, sometimes we just stumble around.

Parenting is sometimes just hard. There are days when life happens, you know how you ought to respond, you love your children, and it still feels really difficult.

Did anyone ever tell you that? That life is hard?

I browsed an online book store this week and saw titles that had all the answers! They had phrases like 'Three easy steps to...' and 'One week to a better...' and '...has never been so easy'.

I understand the desire to have some things be made less work. Streamlined process is more efficient. But what if efficiency would ruin something, rather than make it better? What if time spent in the trenches, sweating it out, working so hard you feel sore for days after, is the best way?

Parenting is like that. Somedays you just have to sweat it out.

Messy Pentameter

2010-12-28T11:21:00.000-08:00

I wrote a short poem the other day. A rhyme-y one. It was quite rhyme-y.

Do you remember Ideals magazine? My grandmother used to have them. I loved them.
Anyway, this little ditty could have appeard there.

It was rather amateurish. The pantameter was unidentifiable, unless you read it in a completely sing songy voice. It was, however, heartfelt and hey, lots of my facebook friends liked it!

Here it is for you to enjoy.

How I wish that christmas cheer
would stay with us throughout the year
Not the lights and presents and trees
but the hope and goodwill that is given with ease
That our mouths would form, without a thought,
a joyous greeting more oft than not
What a place this world would be
if we chose to give more happily

How Will I be Known?

2010-12-27T09:38:00.001-08:00

Another new year is approaching. Somehow, the arrival of another January, along with a fresh calendar for the wall, inspire retrospection and planning ahead. Something that I have come to find is really important at any time of the year.

Still, the New Year brings with it some extra measure of hope and plants stars in my eyes as I envision what things are held in the months to come. Everything looks happier, easier and more successful when I project them onto New Year.

Well, I'm tired of looking at life starry eyed, only to have the stars fade away, and take their rose colored lenses with them.

I began a new personal tradition this year. I hope it will be a tradition. I hope that my hope isn't starry.

I began my "New Year Resolutions" this month. I want to be able to say "Oh, I've been working on that since last year." Somehow, the difference of a week or two gives me the idea that failure isn't an option. That my resolutions won't stall just because I'm not used to a new routine.

I refuse to be known any more as someone that makes big extravigant plans and isn't able to see them through. Yes, I know that sometimes our plans just don't materialize. Circumstances happen. I get that. I'm not talking about never failing at anything. I'm talking about making those changes that really do make things better.

For instance, do I really want to be known for another year as a grumpy, grouchy mom who laughs only on occasion?

I really want to be a joyful mom. One who delights in her children and the wonderful job I have of raising them. Yes, I even want to be joyful about all of the tasks that come with that job.

I know how to go about achieving that goal. I have all of the tools. I know what it takes.

And I vow to do it.

I want to be known as a joyful person. One who chooses to be happy even when things don't go my way.

Heaven knows, my way is rarely the best way.

Tid Bits

2010-11-21T19:10:00.000-08:00

Just a bit or two to get us through!

Evie Joy is eating solid food. Semi solid food? Rice flakes mixed with apple or banana. Mostly she just wants to suck it off of my finger. She isn't so thrilled with the spoon.

I'm longin for a 'pink' day. A day with my girls. I love all of my kiddos. The boys are joys. Hehe.

I just rhymed! But I would love to have some girl time.

Hubby has several days off from work. I am looking forward to this time of of (hopefully) rest.

He took the kiddos sledding today. The three yo calls his brothers "The Guys" and says that he is big now and is of the "The Guys" now too. *sigh*

Marli bug will be with us over Thanksgiving. She'll be spending some time with extended family and be involved in some of our pre-Christmas traditions!

Tid bits. The Little bits that make up The great big picture.

The 'En-En' Game

2010-11-12T10:03:00.001-08:00

It's game a couple of the Smallers made up. They must be wearing appropriate Burn-Off Pajamas. These are either footie sleepers, or pajamas with a good clean pair of socks. You know, to make burn-offs on the hard floor more exciting. They hold their hands out in front of them as though on a steering wheel, sliding their feet across the floor saying "en, en, en!" to sound like an engine. They invite one another to "Play En-En".

They made it up. It's all their own.

I am thrilled to know that my children have active imaginations!

Focus

2010-11-09T10:18:00.000-08:00

We had family photos done a few days ago. They came out great despite all of my worrying and stress.

I didn't know I was a worrier. I wasn't aware of how much stress I have about my chilren's safety and cleanliness.

Most folks would call me laid back. Casual. Perhaps even too easy going.

There we were, in this little park near a rushing river and a small hill climb to a major highway. Yes, one of the littlest ones climbed the hill. Yes, a couple of smalls got as near to the rushing river as they could. Of course they played on the ground, splashed through puddles, and stirred up dust that stuck to their pants and shoes.

About 45 minutes into this adventure, I was exhausted. I had chased and instructed and fretted myself into a Grouchy Grump.

When I looked through the pictures the next day, do you know what I saw? Happy kids, playing, enjoying one another. I didn't see dirt. I didn't see every potential for injury.

While I still believe I was right to fuss about the river and the highway, those were only two quick moments out of the entire hour. Those were circumstantial. Everything else was by my own choice. It was my decision to focus on what might happen, or what might go wrong, or what might show up in the photos.

The photographer focused on what was good and right. That's what I'll see when I look at our family pics this year.

Blessed to be Crazy

2010-10-14T09:26:00.000-07:00

Once in a while, I beg for the opportunity to do something without my children. Usually some errand running. It goes by so quickly when I am not constantly counting heads, buckling and unbuckling car seats, retrieving sippy cups and pacifiers, stopping for diaper changes and potty breaks, and convincing children that the three or four stops we have left aren't that bad, really!
You see, six of the children, the ones that are at home with me all day, are too young to be left in the vehicle to wait-even if the parking space is directly in front of a very small business with windows all across the front and my stop is less than 5 minutes. It's the law, and people do not hesitate to pass judgment and/or call authorities when they perceive child endangerment!

I recently left the house without my children. It wasn't something that I particularly wanted to do. I was attending a funeral. For a newborn. Funeral receptions are social. I discovered that I don't know what to do with myself when my children are not present. No one's hand to hold. No one asking to be picked up. No one to rush off and change a diaper for, or take to the bathroom. No to clean up a spill for, or fill a plate for. No one to help eat or assist with a cup. No one to tell "sit down" or "Shhh" or "Please help your brother/sister".

While I have long envisioned this as being a short moment of relief, and the ability to return to "myself" (whomever that may be...) I had an unpleasant jolt of realization.

I do not know how to act without my children in tow. I don't know what to do with my hands, where to look, whether to sit or stand. I don't know how to get through a buffet without carrying more than one plate. More importantly, I don't know how to communicate! I am used to conversations interrupted and cut off. I am not used to carrying one on! I don't know how to approach a person and introduce myself, because I have no opportunity for it! I don't know how to be anyone other than the Crazy Lady With all the Kids!

As I left my seat to head for the bathroom, I naturally picked up bags, stray socks, a stuffed toy, and headed on my way, realizing as I opened the door, that none of these items belonged to me. I am simply used to packing things around. I walked around a corner and down a hall with these things in my hands. I apologized. Fortunately, my friend also has seven children and completely understands these moments! She was quite gracious as she retrieved her child's trappings from me.

Now you know. If I ever have the opportunity for face to face adult conversation, and I stop mid-sentence, appearing to look for something around the room, it's because I don't yet know how to do it differently for now. And I am blessed to be a little crazy!

Ewan Eliezer's Amazing Impact

2010-10-01T05:40:00.000-07:00

I met a couple last summer at a local college reunion. My sister was coming to town, and another friend suggested we get the locals together. This couple that showed up started college the year after I left, but was in the school at the same time as some others there.
They shared about how they met, and re-met, decided to get married, and how God was working in their lives.
These are people about whom you cannot help but recognize the light of God. It radiates from their being and touches everyone around them. I thought about them from time to time over the past year. Wondering about them. Hoping to get int touch with them and keep up with their 'Jesus adventures'.
I heard a couple of weeks ago that they had a baby! How wonderful! But their baby is sick. While they welcomed this beloved, much hoped for life into their family, they had, immediately to give his life, the survival of his flesh, over to God.
Most of us that call ourselves christians say that we give our children back to God. That we know they aren't ours to hold selfishly, with the tight grip of a parent that wants no harm to come to their child.
James and Kirsten were put in on the front lines of the battle for their child immediately. They have a fantastic army of Dr.'s, surgeons, nurses, and prayer warriors.
This doesn't change the fact that Ewan Eliezer has a broken heart. For one week and 6 days, Ewan has been fighting for his life. He has had ups and downs. The answers to desperate prayer have been too brief, sliding his life into precarious balance again.
This morning, Ewan's parents have to make the choice to let their precious little boy slip from this life into the everlasting arms of the one who created him, or send him into a surgery that may rupture his arteries. Something that may still take him from this world, but without the comforting arms of his parents on that journey.
I cannot imagine the pain and desperation of such a decision. As it is in this moment, all seven of my children are healthy and whole. Their flesh is intact. I do not mourn for broken bodies.
While I know that physical safety is not, by far, the most amazing gift that God gives, it is, by the standard of my flesh, one of them.
God, my heart cries to you for Kirsten, James and Ewan. You know the pain of giving up your only Son. You knew that your precious lamb would be salvation for the lost. Humanity knows nothing of your mystery. Of your plan. Of how Ewan's life impacts your Kingdom. We can see snippets. We can see the hundreds upon hundreds of people praying in unison for Ewan. We can see the beautiful witness of Kirsten and James as they continue to persevere in their faith.
I know what it is to hold my babies, to snuggle them close, to wake to their cries and comfort them, fully expecting that they will wake the next morning, healthy and growing.
Kirsten and James do not.
God, please, be clear in the direction that you have for these saints. Allow them the peace that you promise to the ones that love you. God, today, fill their empty arms with your grace and comfort.
And selfishly, crying from my flesh to see this couple know the joy I have as a parent, please create a miracle within Ewan's body. It pains me to know that you always answer prayer, but that it isn't always the way I want it to be. It hurts me to think that your ways, though higher and better than my own, are not the way I would have them.
Still, I have hope, and I can not but tell you about that hope. To be honest and open in my prayer.

Mom! Thanks for Saving the Legos!

2010-10-01T05:10:00.000-07:00

Every time sweep the floor, I pluck them out of the dust. Every time I travel down the hall, I pluck them from my tender feet.
The hours of enjoyment, the amazing creations, those are thanks enough.

Simple Pleasures

2010-09-25T09:23:00.001-07:00

I was sitting at the table this morning, sipping on a cup of coffee, the heaters were purring, and the rain was lashing outside, never pausing for a rest. Feeling a bit chilly, I thought I'd get a blanket to wrap up in. Before I left my chair, I heard my three year old patter down the hall. He greeted my with a sleepy smile.
"It's time to wake up?" he asked.
"Yes, sweetheart, it is." I replied. With a hopeful look, he asked "I can sit with you?"
"Yes, my precious baby." I tell him. "You may."
He climbed up on my lap, wrapped his little arms around my neck and rested his little head on my shoulder.
I breathed in his clean little boy scent. It was so much more gratifying than even the smell of my coffee on this dark stormy morning. His precious need for mommy warmed me through better than any blanket could have today.

something new

2010-06-26T20:49:00.000-07:00

I want to do something new. Something else. I want to write. I've been reading The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. It's a great book. Slow in the beginning. Really, you don't get the two 'heroes' together until the middle of the novel, but then things take off quickly from there. The story is built up well. the characters evolve beautifully. I have feelings about each character.
Any how, it has me excited again about writing - anything - I guess. I'll be digging out the notebook in the quiet, wee hours!

2010-05-01T00:07:00.001-07:00

Unstoppable

2010-04-29T05:14:00.000-07:00

He was unstoppable. A brilliant military leader, and a strong spiritual influence.
Because of his unstoppable faith, an entire nation followed his Godly example. He was Joshua, leader of the Israelites, appointed by God.

What made Joshua –and the nation of Israel, unstoppable? When God spoke, Joshua listened and obeyed. He was committed to obeying God. He didn’t have a secret formula, or one particular friend that prayed in a darkened corner. Joshua’s faith was constant. He obeyed God in this direct command. When God appointed Joshua as leader of His nation, He said “Be strong and courageous, for you must bring the people of Israel into the land I swore to give them. I will be with you.” Deuteronomy 31:33. Joshua obeyed this command

Joshua 7:7-9 is Joshua's honest prayer. There was trouble, and he didn’t understand why. He pleaded with God. He opened himself up and shared the defeat that Israel was experiencing. He wondered why God had allowed them to fail. He received an answer. He listened, and obeyed.

When Joshua encountered a setback-and this one was huge-he didn’t stop. He didn’t give up. He obeyed. Joshua decided to follow his Lord wherever He led, and whatever it cost.

What stops us? What stops you? What stops the body of Christ at Monroe Community Chapel?
Could we become unstoppable?

By staying in touch with God, we will have the needed wisdom to meet the great challenges of life (Joshua 7:7-9). Loving God means more than being enthusiastic about Him. We must complete all the work he gives us and apply his instructions to every corner of our lives. Being unstoppable for, in, and through God doesn’t happen only when and if it’s convenient. Sometimes, it just isn’t! God’s work done in God’s way will bring His success. Our strength to do His work comes from trusting Him. We have choices. We can choose to allow God to make us unstoppable

Proof of Love?

2010-04-15T20:45:00.001-07:00

I heard someone say that obedience isn't the result of serving God, but proof of how much we love Him.
I chewed on that for a while. I wasn't sure I agreed. The more I turned that over in my mind, the more I was convicted about my 'proof of love' for God.
Do I obey the way I teach my kids to obey? Right away, all the way, and with a joyful heart.
uh, nope.
If it were a result of something, it would get easier. Obedience would be natural and would flow evenly.
It doesn't. Not for me, anyway. Obedience is an effort. It's a choice, and not always an easy one.

Pregnant...still

2010-04-12T16:23:00.000-07:00

Yep. Still. About 2 months left.
Aches
Pains
Discomfort
Acid Reflux
Exhaustion
Lethargy
I've been pregnant for a total of 62 months out of my lifetime.
Good thing those littles are worth every moment...

Baby steps

2009-12-30T20:00:00.000-08:00

The littlest one is walking. He has graduated from holding on to furniture and walls, and is instead wobbeling about through the house.

His first few steps looked like the movements of those little green army men when someone is propelling them forward. Now he has the more customary stance of other novice walkers, with the hands held up on either side of the head and a huge grin on his face!

I thought it would be a good idea to get a pair of 'real' shoes for him, since it is winter and he will want to walk outside. We went to the shoe store in bought the standard white, lace up, high top first time walking shoes. I set him on the floor to try them out. He refused to move. He became a wavering statue. No movement of the feet. At all.
Finally, I took his hands and urged him forward. He moved - by lifting each foot as high as possible and shaking it a little before setting it down to lift the other. He took about half a dozen steps this way before taking to the floor in a crawl.

This time of learning to walk is exciting for parent and baby alike. Parents have urged and cheered their baby to this milestone and are thrilled when the little sweet heart has shown mastery of this new skill.
Baby is aware, suddenly, of the many escape routes to freedom. Any door is fair game. Watch how fast they go from those first unstable steps to running at olympic sprinting speeds!

We desire our children to learn the skills to become independant from us. Our hope is that they learn to navigate life without needing to hold our hands at every turn. When they begin to assert their independence, we smile and revel the 'first' moments of pride as the sweet little babies learn forward mobility. Then, after a couple of weeks, when the newness of this skill wears off - no, wears thin - we realize that we battle the desire to scoop them up and cradle them close. To keep them safe and dependent - at least for a little while longer.

Disclaimer...

2009-11-13T13:55:00.001-08:00

Of course there are real, honest, God fearing Christians out there in the USA. The church would be non-existent here, otherwise. There are many great men and women building the kingdom here and glorifying God in their work.

There just aren't enough! What are we waiting for? Do we think that there is no place we can serve in our community? Do we misunderstand what a ministry is?

What is your ministry? Does it HAVE to be sanctioned by the church community where you attend on Sundays for it to be a real ministry? Do you count on funds and participation from your fellow church members to keep your ministry going?

Why?

Can't ministry be done independantly, drawing in various people from the community that don't go to your church?

So many questions. I know what my answers are. What are yours?

Do Hard Things...

2009-10-24T22:58:00.000-07:00

If you follow me on FaceBook, then you know that I have been posting some serious material.

How long can the church of the United States be flaccid? We are a useless, rotten, maggot infested bunch of wussies.

Do we spend too much time trying to convince those in one denomination that they are wrong and should join another when we ought to be suffering for our faith? Why are we not persecuted for our love of God? Why is our most indignant moment as believers a small post in an online publication about a man losing his job at Home Depot for wearing a pin with a religious sentiment?

Why are those passionate for Christ so few here?

Satan has a stronghold on our government, our schools, our churches, our entertainment, our love of comfort.

And we eat it up, get real fat and cozy and sit on our butts proud of ourselves for having the key to heaven.

I am sick of myself for this...

Kids Riding Bikes

2009-09-16T13:59:00.000-07:00

When two of the older children (8 and 6) are out front riding bikes or, whatever, they are responsible to keep on eye on a younger brother (2). They just need to watch and let me know if there is a problem with where he is going or what he is doing. Their boundaries are clear and over the summer this has worked out quite well.

Today, the Biggers went out to play, and about 30 minutes later, one of them came in to tell me that they couldn't find the Little.

"Oh, honey" I calmly reply "he's napping."
"well, the boys and a neighbor are out looking for him and I was told to tell you to call 911"
"It's okay, we'll just let the neighbor know that Little is napping and everything is fine"
---boys walk in the door---
"Bigger," I say " Please let neighbor know that Little is home safe napping and that we don't need the police."
---off he goes---
---back he comes, mission accomplished---
---15 minutes later, County Sherrif is knocking on the door. The dog is in the house and barking furiously. I am asking the children, loudly, to put the dog in the back yard. Officer knocks even more loudly, on the window. I say, "just a moment!" He knocks again on the door - HARD! "just a moment were putting the dog out!"
I open the door. He askes if my kiddos are all safe and sound. yes, they're fine. He is getting messages over the radio about bad stuff happening. and takes my name address and phone number. It'll prob'ly be in the police blotter of the local paper.
What an exciting afternoon...

Major Life Change

2009-08-26T12:32:00.000-07:00

My oldest has gone to live with her father.

*sigh*

There are so many good reasons (for a 13 yo girl) for her to be there. There are so many good reasons for her father to have a hand at raising her.

There are so many more good reasons for her to have stayed here.

I am glad that I was able to raise her to the point where she makes her own decisions with a base of everything that she learned in my home. I pray daily, and more fervently than ever before, that she will continue to live according to the virtues and values that she learned with me.

I love and miss my baby girl. I don't have any great lessons learned from this experience except this: If this is how much it hurts when my children leave my home, even for good reasons, that I have much heartache in my future...

The HagenZoo Embarks on a Large, Accidental Adventure.

2009-07-27T08:41:00.001-07:00

"Hey Kiddos!, jump in the van! It's time to get Marli!" Shouts of excitment ring through the air. Their older sister has been gone for over a week and they Hagen kids are ready to have her home. We choose the van because, while it doesn't have a radio, it DOES have air conditioning. Uneventful ride to Totem Lake, and Marli is now picked up.
We begin our catching up conversation and round the corner to get on the I405. "um, Mom? Did the van just quit?" asks Marli. "Why yes, I believe it has." replies Mom, cool and calm. We coast to a stop on the shoulder of the on-ramp and I activate the hazard lights. Good. Now, to call Jerry. "Hon, the van has stopped, it won't restart and we are on an on ramp to 405." Jerry replies "Oh. Wow! That's a problem. That's, um, okay. I'll get the suburban and come get you guys." I can tell he is trying not to sound worried and a little panicky. It's not working. I can still hear it, and I am glad he loves us enough to be worried!
We sit there for about 15 minutes. The van warms up. considerably. I roll down windows. The temperature inside the van is rising. This isn't good. Not good at all. think, think, think. What to do?
"Hey Kiddos! let's get out of the van! We're going for a walk!" What??!?!?" they ask? "ON THE FREEWAY?!?!?!? Is that even legal??!?!?!" (you can guess who said that! Yep, J.J.) "No, son, it isn't legal. But it is a superior action to the one that leaves you all cooking in the van, don't you think?" J.J.'s reply, "We could get cooked in the van? Really?" As J.J. is contemplating whether it would be more cool to find out if someone could actually get cooked in the van, or experience probable impending doom on the freeway, we are searching the van for the shoes that Andrew has removed. I realize, with chagrin, that the stroller is at home. Benjamin, whom you all have prayed for, had trouble putting on weight and not losing any. Not any more. He weighs about 19 lbs. That plus the 40 lb infant seat (it's an exaggeration, but not much...) are now hanging on my right arm, the purse and diaper bag on my left. We hop over the guard rail because it looks like there is a gravel pathway that might allow us to get down to the arterial road without having to walk on the shoulder. Not so much. Back up the gravel pathway, back over the guard rail.
I give explicit instructions to "Walk with your left hand ON the guard rail. NO EXCEPTIONS! Do not wiggle, do not jump or stretch. Do not run. Do not SNEEZE!" At this point my children are more afraid of death by Mom's voice than death by vehicular homicide.
We are walking, single file, down the on ramp. I count 20 vehicles go by us. Each on slowed, gave a wide arc around us and the faces they made were priceless! I wish I had a camera for each one! I had a couple of "What a terrible mother" looks, a few "Oh How awful! I wonder what happened" looks and at least one or two "What an inconvenience, get out of the road!" looks. Not one person stopped or bothered to ask if we needed help. One woman, six kids. Really? Not one? If you EVER see any thing like this. STOP AND ASK!!!!!
We make it to the intersection and are faced with a decision. Which way to go? We decide on Denny's. Air conditioned, notoriously slow service, and we have lots of time to kill. "No? You don't take checks? Oh....kay. We'll have three grand slam breakfasts." I carry cash for gas and grocery shopping. When I am not doing one of the two, I don't generally have much cash with me. It works. There's a lot of food on a Grand Slam break fast plate. It worked out beautifully. Our waitress was wonderful. She decorated four of the pancakes for the kids with strawberry syrup and checked on us often. We left her a good tip and left the restauraunt. Now what? I call Jerry. "Hi! How long?" "Well, I am going to see if I can borrow the Bentley's tow dolly!" "okay, hon! bye" Going to see. That means we have more time to use. What to do?
"Hey kiddos! We are going for another walk!" We walk across the street to the Totem Lake Mall, which closes at six pm on Sundays. It was 7:30 pm. We took over the covered entry and the sidewalk for 20 feet in either direction. We sat on the ground, layed on the ground, ran around and around and around on the ground, the children played, swung and hung on the bike rack. They sang and danced and played tag and I LET THEM.
"Mom, I'm thirsty." O Great. "I don't have any thing for you. Dad and Mr. Mark will be here soon." "Mom, I'm thirsty." So, four of the children repeat this refrain. One can't speak and the oldest knows better. The oldest is sent to the nearby Chevron for cold bottles of water. As she leaves, Jerry and Mr. Mark arrive. Halleluja!!!! We pile in, pick Marli up and head over to the on ramp to load the van on to the dolly. Backing down an on ramp, even on the shoulder, about as legal as walking around on the freeway - okay, we weren't hitch hiking.
"Hon?" Jerry replies "yes?" "Um, one of the kids had my keys over at the mall and I am sure they are laying on the pavement over there." "Oh. Really?" "um, yeah." "okay." Off we go. We pull over, Jerry wants to do a torque check, and I think He's really hungry. Mr. Mark takes me back to the mall to get my keys. There they lay, undisturbed on the sidewalk. We get back to the freeway. Mark says, Jerry's probably left there by now, you think?" I thought I was thinking when I replies "Yes, I'm sure he is." So...Mark brought me home. About 2 miles from home, my phone rang. "Mom?" "yes?" "Did you find your keys?" "yes!" "Good. Are you almost here?" "Um, almost home?" No, here" "Where are you?" At the parking lot." "Really?" "yes!" (Babies screaming in the background. Really, truly, screaming.) "Uh, tell Dad to head home. I am almost home." "uh, okay. Bye"
There you have it. A large, accidental adventure. I Wonder what tomorrow will bring...

Thoughts on Food

2009-07-26T13:51:00.000-07:00

A good friend and I were having a conversation in which the subject arose of 'feeding the whole neighborhood'. Children from other families are playing at or near our house, and it is snack time. My children come in with 3-7 (usually) others asking for a snack. 'Wow.' I'm thinkging. 'How'm I gonna feed all of these kids?'. Do I tell the others that they need to go home and get a snack? Here's what I am finding out: Some of the children either don't get a snack at home, or get some kind of sugary snack. They get cold, fresh fruit, cheese, nuts, crackers and popcicles at my house. This can get expensive just for my family!
Have you ever had your mind blasted with a Holy Spirit Meteor? It happens to me once in while. this Holy Spirit Mind Blast reminded me who provides the food. God does. Does He provide food to my family because He is obligated? I think not. He provides food to my family so that we will responsibly fuel our human bodies to continue building His Kingdom here on earth. He provides food to my family because He enjoys sharing good things with us. He provides food to my family so that we will share his blessing.
I won't be stingy with snacks anymore, and I'll be working on responsible fueling...

The Power of Prayer

2009-06-28T14:20:00.000-07:00

Books about prayer have been leaping off of bookshelves and into my hands for a while. Some are hokey, some are amazing, some are dull, some are exciting!
I know something about prayer. I grew up hearing about it, reading about it in the bible. Praying at meal times, bed times, troubeling times, praying for safety and for needs.
Suddenly, it seems, my heart is yearning for prayer. If I didn't pray early in the morning, I find myself sneaking off away from my LOUD family to spend a few moments in prayer. I keep a prayer journal and refer to it often. I want to speak to God and I want God to speak to me.
If you read my posts regularly, you'll notice that I often wonder why my life is the way it is. Most especially, when so many children? One of the reasons is becoming clear (one of many reasons).
Prayer. If it is difficult at best for me to get all six children out of the house to someplace where I have to have an eyeball and hand available for each one, by myself, chances are, we won't go. I end up saying
'no' to many activities because of my husband's schedule. I can not, in good consience, take my children on my own to whatever it is and expect everything to go well. So...we spend a little more time at home. I find a little more time to pray. My prayer time is becoming more purposeful. There is power it prayer. It's amazing to note things that happen when I know that people have been praying about a specific thing.
I know that God would have to 'ground' me in a significant way in order to make me consider prayer a significant and useful part of my life, then do it.

Quiver Full?

2009-06-18T07:26:00.000-07:00

"We are allowing God to determine the size of our family." Said by several women that have 6, 7, 8 + children. The standard answer for those brazen enough to ask things like "how many will you have?" and "are you having more?"

Here's the question: Did couples with fewer children, then, not allow God to determine the size of their families?

There are many Godly families that have 1, 2, 3, or 4 children. They are living a life according to the path that God has laid out before them. They are seeking God's will for their lives. God has spoken to these families, in some way, to allow them knowledge, wisdom and/or peace about the size of their family.

So I will be careful, as a mother of 6, about using that phrase, "...allowing God to determine the size of our family." I want to communicate that we are seeking to want what God wants for us, whether that means a large family or a small one, whether it means homeschooling or not, whether it means raising many disciples at home to go out and serve, or intensly serving our communities without children in tow.

Is there a fabulous phrase to communicate that God determines what a 'full quiver' means for each family? What about something like this "God is providing a ministry of discipling many children in our home."

Or am I getting a little to PC?

Home school vs Public school - sort of.

2009-06-06T08:11:00.001-07:00

Do you home school or send your children to public school? What are the advantages of home school?
~Parents have curriculum options
~Flexibility of schedule
~Children learn at their own pace
~Children get more one on one time with the 'teacher'
~Special needs kids have a better chance of their individual needs being met at home
~Parents can raise their children in a sort of bubble
~In general, home schooled children have a more rounded education, and top colleges are recruiting from home schooling families.
Not a terrible list. But one pops out at me as being a terrible reason. What is it that we are protecting our children from?
There can be a long, long list. It is a parents job to keep our children safe. "Don't do drugs", "Don't jump off the roof", "Don't play with fire", "Don't talk to strangers".
What do we tell our children to do? What is it that we dream for our children? We want them to be leaders, to be confident, to make good choices. We (Christian parents) want our children to go and make disciples, to live virtuous lives. How much practice do our children have at this in a sheltered environment? When parents claim that they live God centered lives, and that their children are being raised biblically, then example can your children possibly be to them? If our childen are always in the company of 'church' families, with very few exceptions, how are they practicing discipleship? How are they supposed to be a light to the world, when we hide them?
What about the children and the families that are in public school? Let's just assume, for a moment, that all Christian families are pulling their children out of school. That we have decided that the government is forcing to much in the way 'unacceptable morality ' on our children (i.e. homosexuality as normal, sexual education in elementary school that offers birth control, prayer and evangalism as unacceptable, etc.). Okay, so now the local public school is a cauldrin of sin. There are no Christian families sending their children there. No Christian parents attending PTA, or parent information meetings. No Christian parents giving input on curriculum changes, or forming relationships with teachers and other classroom parents. There are no children that have been raised to live virtuously on the playground influencing other children. There are no children in the classroom demonstrating virtues to the teachers.
What now? Have we just told all of those families to go to hell? Have we, of our own accord, chosen who has access to the gospel and a model of a Christ-like life?
If we choose to respond to the crumbling of the institution of public school by avoiding it all together, then we are supporting the decline of our neighborhoods. We are avoiding relationships that we have been instructed to build. Jesus Christ did not die on the cross so that we could put our families in a church bubble, then hope that when they graduate from High School, they will face the troubles of the world with grace.
I am all for protecting my small children from the perils of bad language, lewd behavior, and degraded thinking. Our children age, however. There comes a time when we should be coming along side our children and guiding their choices rather than making choices for them. If your children are not given the opportunity to make choices in a lost world, when parents are there to guide them, then what do they do as young adults?
A few will stick close to what they learned. They will go to a christian college, they will get into the church body and cocoon themselves there. They will attempt to become engaged in some sort of church building ministry. Even fewer will step out into the world with confidence in Christ, mingeling with the 'others'.
Most will drop out of church, if not upon entering college or the workforce, then by the time they are 30. After all, the world is nothing like the one we presented to them for 18 years!
Home school has it's place. It's a good place. It can be a great tool. So can public school.
What is your reason for homeschooling? Or, for that matter, public schooling? Are you putting your family in the way of the tax collectors? Are you influencing, on a daily basis, those that are addicted, prostituting themselves for the desires of the world, looking for something better? Or have you decided that those things are unpleasant and you just don't want to deal with them?

why is parenting so hard?

2009-06-03T22:09:00.000-07:00

I've been asking this question for a while. I've heard it pop up around me several times lately. There are so many reasons, so much good advice, but one stuck with me.
Are the problems that our kids face different or more difficult than those 20, 30, 40 years ago? Yes! They are!
Drugs, sex, and rock n'roll, the everpresent 'enemies' of a decent life (LOL!) are still around. So is the media. The images and language considered appropriate or mainstream have evolved over time until our children, if we allow them, are exposed to ideas of rebellion as acceptable, nay, encouraged! The message is that if young people aren't rebelling against something, anything, then their lives are boring, pointless and they are likely friendless.

BUT what are we teaching our children, on purpose, at home? Are we teaching them to live virtuous lives? Are they aware that ethics and morality are not the same thing?
When children are not equipped to filter media through virtues and ethics they are left with the morals of the current culture, the acceptable practices of the day - not always ethical and almost never virtuous!

How many of our children know what virtues really are? How about parents? Do we know what virtues are and how to live them daily? Do you?

Leadership at home - mostly.

2009-05-21T10:58:00.000-07:00

Are men natural leaders? Do they automatically step up to head of the family just because they are men? Do they desire to have leadership even if their wives have assumed that role?
Women have been told that they are disrespecting their husband when they choose to keep the family under their own direction. If these women were to relinquish this role, would the men step up to that role? Does confidence come with they Y chromosome?
I boldly declare the answer to be 'No.'
While there are instances of overbearing women disrespecting their husbands, refusing to give up their powerful position as leader of the home, I believe that there are many men that do not want that position. That they would just as soon have someone else make the decisions, handle the finances, raise the children, do the negotiating.
Is it wrong for a man to give his wife these responsibilities? Giving the responsibilities is the key. What if he just sits back and does nothing, forcing his wife to assume these responsibilities. What if she takes on the responsibilities, and, over time begins to loose respect for her husband.
Okay, here's the thought that has been roaming around in my head, waiting for the questions to catch up. Wives, we have the responsiblity not only to relinquish head of home to our husbands, but to encourage and support them in that responsibility. Help them build their confidence, and offer to be a helpmeet.
This is a challenge for me. I am not a natural leader, as are so many women that I know. I don't lead my family gracefully, it is a challenge and I often grunt through my days in misery and with much rebellion in my heart.
My husband desires, because it is biblical to do so, to be the leader in our home. He knows that there are many things that I can do more effectively than he can (i.e., home school, grocery shopping, menu making, communication, set up house and home, keep skeds, etc.), and he trusts me with these areas. I, in turn, strive (because it is biblical to do so - and because I desire to allow our home to be God centered) to support my husbands efforts to be a leader in our home, exhorting him and respecting his growth as a man of God.
Not that I don't still make the occassional suggestion...

the slight

2009-05-19T07:15:00.000-07:00

Recently, some one said something to me that, well, wasn't very nice. It was in response to a comment that I made. It wasn't horrible. It wasn't even mean. It just wasn't very nice.
It stuck with me. It wouldn't go away. Why would this person say something hurtful to me? I began to be apprehensive about being around this person. What could I have to learn from this?
I dislike confrontation. Horribly. Mostly, when I have to do the confronting. Could this be a lesson in gentle and loving confrontation? The more I thought about that, the more agitated I became.
I wondered again what I might have to learn from this. Was this person so wrong in what was said? Do I need to change something about myself? Was the comment a way for God to point out something that needs to be improved in me?
Eventually, the pressure of this comment on my mind crept out to other areas of my life. My husband would say or do something that irritated me immensly. The children's squabbles and volume would set my spine to ringing with the desire to silence them by sending them to their beds for the entire day. I was essentially being consumed with this one comment. This doesn't happen to me. I usally let things go. Why is this bugging me so much?!?!?!
So...I prayed about it. I confessed this SIN to another friend who prayed for me. When I realized that confessing sin was what I had done, I confessed it to God, asked him to forgive me, and now purpose to not sin in this way again.
I allowed a comment, probably spoken in jest, to take on it's own life. I Entertained thoughts of malice that were never intended and justified my emotions about it, allowing my feelings to dictate how I reacted to and treated others.
It's good to know that I am free of the bondage of sin. That silly, hurtful comments don't have any power over Jesus Christ and the transformations that He takes me through.

A Summer List

2009-05-16T13:14:00.000-07:00

The list is growing. It's amazing how huge this list is. It includes some things that I didn't take care of because they weren't as important as other things, or it didn't need doing at the time, but definately does now. It also includes a few very important things that truly need doing now, all in no particular order.

1. replace/repair the sliding screen door
2. replace the screen on the boys bedroom window (does anyone know how to do this? I have all of the materials...)
3. fix a circle vent thingie on the wall in the boys room (I don't even know w here to begin with this)
4.plant the vegetable garden
5. clear the vents at the base of the house
6. kill the moss on the roof
7. get things from storage for a yard sale (they've been in storage for 4 years, I'm probably not too attatched).
8. Price the items for the yard sale
9. Transport the items for the yard sale
10. Clean the sliding glass door
11. Clean all of the other windows
12. Get rid of a broken television
13. Paint the boy's room (it is currently pink...)
14. Paint the girl's room (I have the paint in the back of the van)
15. Clean out the back of the van
16. Get rid of all the blue plastic storage bins that are piled up around the perimeter of my house.
17.Find a safety net for the trampoline.
18.Install the safetly net for the trampoline
19.Hang the baby swing on the play structure
20. weed the flower patch
21.buy ink for printer
22. Plan curriculum for next school year
23. Get rid of a couch
24. Move a piano
25. Have piano tuned

I have to stop there. I am feeling overwhelmed. That isn't the end of the list. All of these things will have to be done with the attendance of all six of the children and in conjunction with the regular daily stuff. Besides the giant ones - replacing a roof and replacing the siding (may have to wait for another year or two). How am I going to get all of this done? I had dreams of a summer where we do chores in the morning and hang in the shade or at the lake for the afternoon, with bbq suppers and evenings around the fire pit. Maybe those things will happen once or twice.
Summers are so much shorter now than they were when I was a kid.

Sin - What is it?

2009-05-12T21:54:00.000-07:00

Is sin anything that displeases God, or is it simply failure to adhere to the Law as laid out in the Old Testament? Does it matter? Is it semantics, or is it important?

If it is simply failure to adhere to the Law as laid out in the Old Testament, then are we all doomed to failure? Can a person strive to obey the Law and still be displeasing to God? The Pharisees did. They kept the letter of the Law! The wore long tassels, they bound (literally!) the word of God to their wrists and foreheads. They were so righteous, that they expounded on the Law to make sure that everyone knew exactly how to follow it.
Jesus Christ called his followers to be more righteous than the Pharisees.
So, the very men that kept the law publicly and rightly, were not pleasing to God.

The idea of judgement. There will be a time of judgement, and all men will be judged. Does this mean that if we don't adhere strictly to Old Testament Law, that we will be less in the Kingdom of Heaven? We know that the wages of sin is death. It is the Law that shows us our sin. Romans 7:7-25 tells us that. It tells us that the law is spritual and good, but that we are sinners. That even when we want to do what is right and good, there is a struggle within us because of our spiritual nature. But then, "Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord..."
And on to Chapter 8. There is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. (vs 4)He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be fully satisfied for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature, but instead follow the Holy Spirit.
So when we sin, displeasing God, we can ask his forgiveness, for He is forgiving, and we are made holy, without sin. (though, I haven't yet met anyone that doesn't have to do this over and over) so, the only question left is, what will I be judged for on judgement day? If I am constantly asking God to show me the deepest part of my desperate, poor in spirit, heart, the things that offend him, that I might repent (ask for forgiveness, and turn from that wickedness), then that sin is no longer binding, and I no longer have responsibility for that which is gone.
What do you think?

What if...

2009-05-09T07:43:00.000-07:00

...There wasn't Sunday School for children. What if parents had the full responsiblity to teach their children about God.
Would our children still be leaving the church as teens and young adults?
Would the divorce rate in the church be the same as mainstream numbers?
Would our children learn anything beyond some 'heroes of the bible'
stories?
Sunday school can be a good thing. Many of us have stories of highly influential Sunday school teachers. But - Can they do a better job than parents? Should Sunday school be a place that reinforces what is being learned at home, instead of the primary place to learn about God? Should parents become more involved in what is being taught at Sunday School?

Safe!

2009-05-08T20:55:00.000-07:00

"Get down! Get down! He has a gun!" screamed the aproned women as they ran through the parking lot, stopping at a hedge to wait for the sherrif's car to pull in.

That's what happened when I was fueling up the family vehicle this afternoon. Two young people robbed the local grocery, then took off on foot, waving their firearms about. No shots rang out. No one was hurt, but my mind raced.

I was frozen when I saw the running women and heard their shouts. What should I do? I am currently pumping gas, should I stop? Should I get on the ground? No, the children are all in the vehicle. Do I run around the front and get in? No, that might alarm someone. Augh! What do I do!

I did nothing. I stood there until the weapon weilding robbers were out of sight and the store employees were giving their accounts to the police.

It's an awful feeling, knowing that in that instance, no matter what happened, I had not control over the safety of my children.

After a few hours of running the scene over in my mind, I remembered somethings that I learned some time ago. I may not have control over every situation, but God does. Not that I would view a bloody out come as in my family's favor, or anything less than tragic. My only comfort would be that there is a plan that I don't have the details to.

Sunday Morning Service, Just The Way You Like It?

2009-05-07T16:41:00.000-07:00

We live in a made to order society, and our churches have followed suit.
The walls are painted in calming colors, the carpets are cleaned and the pews are padded. The lighting and sound are run by techs that know what they are doing so that everything is seamless and beautiful. The kid's programs are set up so that parents just drop their little one's off before service and pick them up after, pleased at the darling wall hangings and nice toys available, not giving a thought to what goes on to make the children's classes happen.
And sometimes, even the sermons are developed to tickle the ears of those that show up. The right buzz words, catch phrases, current events and even leaving out the unpleasant parts of life and eternity.
Church, made to order. If you don't like that one, shop around, you'll find something else that meets your needs. If you feel offended, go to another building and sample the offerings, see if they look and sound more to your liking.
What happened to the unified body of Christ? What happened to Christians meeting the needs of those in the community, believers and non believers alike?
When people that make us uncomfortable come into the church buildings, what do we do? Do we offer them a place to sit near us? Do we get them a cup of coffee? Do we spend time with them after service, showing the love of Christ? Generally, we ignore them. We avoid eye contact and hope they won't show up again. Essentially, we make it very clear that socially challenged people are doomed to hell because we don't want to go outside of our comfort zones.
What can we do to show these people that God loves them? Do some kind of community service on a Sunday morning instead of going to church, perhaps?

The Header

2009-05-05T18:14:00.000-07:00

We arrived at our destination, the children piled out of the suburban. Well, most of them piled out. One of them slid, head first to the asphalt. I watched, from the other side, as his rubber boots made their descent.

He has assured me that he won't choose that same dismount style again.

*He's fine, no concussion, no cracked skull, just a black eye and road rash.

About the Question.

2009-05-04T10:26:00.000-07:00

***I am not questioning the validity of studying the bible***

We are accountable for what we know. If we have the freedom and ability to study the bible in depth, and the Holy Spirit reveals himself to us through these studies, then we are responsible to live what we learn, and to share it. No excuses.

What I want to know is, if bible study is so incredibly important to our growth as Christians, then what about people that don't have bibles and/or access to study materials and leadership? Are their christian walks somehow lesser than mine? Could it be that they are held less accountable for leading others astray? How can their convictions be so much stronger than mine (than anyone who claims to be a christian and has access to bibles and study materials)?

AND - for those of you that know me, please do not interpret this next question as confusion or lack of faith in the studies that I am currently involved in. It isn't that. I'll explain

The next question is - do we have a tendancy within the church to jump from program to program, study to study, learning what we already know, instead of living what we already know. How many of us are too busy with church and other activities to serve? How many of us need to learn more before we can 'go and do' with unbelievers? Are we replacing the action of loving our neighbors (nonchristians in our community) with a myriad bible studies?

personal explanation - I am involved in a small group, a bible study, volunteer my time at the church building, teach sunday school, listen to the sermon, sacrifice time with my husband for his bible study, and his second bible study. We have lunch and fellowship time with other church members, our children play with church children, we home school and spend time with other members of the local church. This is all in a typical week. We also spend time serving other members of the church. All of these things are good, important, and needed. Do I need to be doing all of these things? How are any of these things impacting the nonbelievers in my community? Am I the only one struggling with the need to have relationships with people in the community that do not love Jesus Christ because I am so busy with the things that I believe God has called me to do? Is it possible that I have missed the mark?

I think so. I don't plan on 'dropping out'. I just plan on making a few changes. Some that will allow me to grow the most important ministry that I could have a part in right now - parenting and nurturing my children, and being a respectful wife. Some others will put me in the paths of nonbelievers. I have a purpose to notice these situations and use each moment to build relationships and glorify God with an attitude of loving each one of His specially created people in the hope that they will make a choice for eternal life with Jesus Christ.

****I have come to these conclusions through bible study and prayer****

Why Do We Do It?

2009-05-01T21:06:00.000-07:00

A question was posed to me today that goes with another question that has been popping up in my mind for a while. A question that I don't ask, because it's too controversial for church. This is a weblog, though, so I'll ask it here .
How do people that do not have access to bibles and study materials build relationship with God and walk the narrow path? Are they 'inferior' christians because they don't know all of the things that I have access to knowing? Am I an inferior christian for not taking advantage of all of the bible study materials that I have access to?
Here's the question that was posed -- Why do we spend so much time with bible studies and so little time doing what we already know to do. Love God, and Love Others.
Relationship with God can be had through prayer, right? God can, and does, reveal Himself to us through ways other than the bible.

So, is there biblical call to immerse ourselves in bible studies? Deuteronomy 6 tells us to teach God's laws to our children and grand children consistantly. That's through relationship. It's verbal and by example.
Where is our command to go and study? Help me out, here?

Being a dog owner

2009-04-28T07:24:00.000-07:00

I recently learned something about being a dog owner. The dog is charming, sweet, loyal, handsome. A positively protective and willing to please animal. Until the neighbors cat gets involved. There are hundreds of cats roaming around the area. There is one cat in particular that haunts our back yard. This cat taunts our dog. She sits in high places and meows and hisses at the dog. She jumps down from her perch and goads the dog into chasing her to places the dog can't go. Our dog can be heard, from time to time, trying to flush this cat out from under the deck. The owners of the cat are quite aware that this happens.
The cat also uses our yard for a toilet. She digs in my garden and eliminates there, covering her 'stuff' with my mulch, displacing bulbs, tearing at roots, and killing my plants. She sleeps on our porch and prances around our yard as if it is hers. She hisses and scratchs and nips at my children if they try to pet her - while she is in our yard.
On occassion, my small children open the front door while the dog is in the house. She sees this as the perfect occassion to make a run for it. She knocks the small child over to get out of the front door. Once out there, she doesn't listen to anyone for any reason. No food can tempt her to return to her back yard. Not the promise of a walk. No sweet cajoling with offers of petting or belly scratching. Nothing.
Enter stage right, the cat. The cat is on top of a car, sees the dog, and carrys on her tradition of teasing. The dog, no longer confined to a fenced area, takes off after the cat. The cat jumps off of the car and darts underneath it. The dog ensues, barking, growling and snarling at this cat. The neighbor hears and sees it. Screams at me to get my *nasty words* dog off of his cat.
The dog, for at least 3 years, has yet to catch this cat in it's own yard. The barking, growling, snarling and chasing of the cat by my dog, in the dog's confined space was never a problem. Now, out in the open, it's MY problem. Really?
I make more of an effort to keep the dog inside. The children know to put the dog in the back yard before they open the front door. The dog is very rarely out in the neighborhood.
The cat? She still wanders at will. She still shows up in the yard, teasing the dog. The neighbor still doesn't care that the cat defiles my gardens and riles the dog. My dog still can't catch the cat.

Girls Day

2009-04-27T19:33:00.000-07:00

It was girl's day, today. Sorta.
The girls went for hair cuts and accessory shopping and the boys took a picnic and the dog to the river.
We tried a new salon (I like it and the prices are better than the supercuts places). Cheryn was trusted to tell the stylist what she wanted - I vetoed the length and gave her a couple of other options. Marli had the same options. She made a great choice. Her hair looks great! Too great. In fact, I am thinking about either locking her in her room or imposing a pony tail rule. She can only leave the house with a pony tail.
She wanted bangs. I though, sure, bangs are fun. She hasn't had bangs since she was about two. This will be cute. Cute isn't the word. She has long bangs that are swept to the side and her curls are layered and look more like beachy waves. She is beautiful and looks much older than 13. Yikes!

The gym

2009-04-23T15:30:00.000-07:00

The gym is an interesting place. I have put off going for a long time. I didn't want to walk my droopy, flabby self into a place with mirrors all around, toned, thin, tan people staring at themselves and showing off how fit they are. Then, I found this little place that some of my friends have been talking about. Anyone can go there, but their main target is the average american fatso. Really! So, off I go. I sign up and commit myself to this power strength class three days a week. wow! I am gonna do this!
First day was torture. I am sure this instructor is up all hours of the night imagining new ways to torture our under developed little muscles. I left the gym already aching. The day wears on, no problem. Keep moving, I'm told. Keep those lactic acids from building up. The what? Um, okay, I can keep moving. I have six kids. How can anyone with that many kids just sit? It doesn't happen. I even stand to write my blogs in case I have to take care of something in a hurry!
Then, I went to bed and spent several hours lying still. In the morning I got out of bed and nearly died. My body hurt. A lot. It hurt to lower myself onto the toilet seat. I went again for the second round. It wasn't quite as bad, but I don't think I worked very hard, because I could barely move anyway.
The third day at the gym was murder. Different instructor. Female. I swear female fitness instructors are merciless. They talk sweet, but push us to our death. Fortunately, the class is only 45 mintues long, not quite enough to actually get through death's door.
Week two rolls around. I rise at 4 am and go to it again. And again. I am committed! I am excited to be healthier! As for the mirrors, well, I can see how tortured everyone else in the class is and know that I am not alone!

daylight view on previous post

2009-03-31T10:32:00.000-07:00

Now that the sun is up (hard to tell in this region), some reflection on the previous post regarding Looks and church ladies:

I do not have a problem with people looking great and their children looking sparkley. I don't have a problem with people living in larger houses or having nicer things.
I have a problem with the pressure that some 'brothers and sisters' in the church place on others to acquire the same things. That somehow we aren't spiritual enough if we haven't been blessed financially. A good friend mentioned this disturbance a little while ago, and it has been tossing about in my mind, gathering bits and pieces here and there.
I suppose if we are doing what we believe that God has asked us to do with what he has given us, then that is all we can do. I do not in any way believe that financial prosperity is God's only way of blessing those who have been shown responsible with little, thereby giving them responsibility for more. This happens in myriad other ways. More children, a promotion at work, discipling other believers, the blessing of being present when a blind one is relieved of the scales over their eyes and confesses a spirit impoverished without God. And yes, even more hardship and more persecution.
If my harship was a small house with two adults and one child, and it has been increased to the same small house with five more children, then I will continue to give God glory for providing for our needs, giving us the gift of children, and hoping that I teach them with biblical truths as they learn to make decisions for themselves. I pray that I give thanks always for the warmth and safety of of my house, the convenience of appliances and electricity, and plenty of clothing and linens to keep us clean and comfortable.
I do spend plenty enough time pining for grand accomodations. Often I pray that God will bless me in just the ways I want to be blessed. I believe in praying specifically. I can only feel good about praying that way, though if my wants are what God wants for me. Does he want a bigger house and nicer things for me? I don't know. I do know where I am now, and I intend to bloom there.
Even if my bloom looks more like a dandelion than a rose to those around me.

Church Lady Adventures-Looks

2009-03-31T03:11:00.000-07:00

Church ladies always look just right. no strings hanging from hems, hair in place, make up on, shoes match the outfit, no stains, children's hair combed, faces shining, ditto with the clothes.
*record skips, scratcheds*
What?
Oh, man-can I keep up with that? Appearance is somewhat important, after all, we live in the United States of America. We are expected to be overly concerned with hygene. And looks. Should that be pushed at church? The looks part. I'm all for the hygene!
Here it is, why is it so incredibly important for us to wear the latest fashions, ironed and with the right shoes, hair in place and make up on, all the children shining and perfectly coiffed and clean. I get that we don't want to appear dirty and disheveled all of the time. We need to show that we care for the gifts that God has given us. Okay. So, what if it's been a long day, I've been out with all of the children, and I have to stop in at the grocery store before I go home. It's illegal to leave the children in the vehicle while I shop, so, in come the kiddos.
They have various juice splotches on their shirts, crumbs stuck in their hair from snacks, possibly their socks actually match, and dirt and grass stains on their knees. My pony tail is coming out all over the place, my eye make up, if I bothered, is smudged terribly, and I have spit up and sticky hand prints from shoulder to knee. I have one pair of shoes left, so they go with everything, even if they don't 'go'.
No one says outright to my face that this is unacceptable. It's the looks -I promise, not perceived! And whispers, often combined with a pointing finger or gesturing hand.
pss.pss.pss "She could at least comb their hair.", "Does she ever bathe them?", "Poor children.", "What a group of little urchins." That's just at the grocery store!
At church, oh, my! I was taught as I was growing up that we bring our best to God on Sunday mornings. We are sparkling clean, we wear our best clothes, that's that. Not a bad thing to learn to do.
What happens when it's been a marathon week, sleep isn't entirely possible during the nights, something has happened to the matching shoe for at least three of the six children, and the baby has spit up on nearly every top that mom has. Mom puts a sweater over the one top that is still clean, hoping that a double layer will at least get her out the door. The children end up wearing their golashes, because they can find the mates. Make up may or may not have been applied, and again, the ponytail wins out.
We get to church to find that folks are in their sunday best. One of my boys runs by with his buzz cut grown out a bit too long and laying awkwardly on one side because he went to bed with it wet. My sweet little princess girl is somehow wearing pink and white cowboy boots that are three sizes too large and don't exactly go with the Christmas dress that she is still wearing in March. My sweater didn't make it, and my blouse has been doomed. My shirt and my shoes don't match. *sigh* I'm looking around. No one else appears to have this problem. People say they do, but I am sure they are just trying to help me feel better. Look at them! They don't look like this!
What about where we live? All kidding aside for the moment - I have actually had people say how surprised they are about where we live. After all, we have so many children that they just assumed we live in a very large house. Hmmm. We've lived in the same tiny house since we had one child. The other five showed up one right after the other and here we all live. Is there some sort of church standard about a person's dwelling? Are there particular neighborhoods that are acceptable? No, of course not, but do we think it anyway? And if so, then does that mean that people who live in less desirable areas should move when they choose to follow Christ?
Is it so impossible to believe that some of us choose to live in a means consistent with the income that has been provided to us? Is it wrong to steward what God has given us to use for his glory? Is it somehow against the grain of the body of Christ to ignore the pursuit of material wealth?
So I say, look great in your designer duds if you can afford them. Apply your make up with skill and keep it in place throughout the day if this is one of your talents. Work your magic that keeps your childrens hair in place and clothes clean all day long, if that's what you can do...but don't be harsh with me when my children play like children, then get dirty. When my nails aren't manicured and my clothes are all but worn out.
Do you have any idea how much pressure is on a mom to look good, the more children there are? It's almost like a contest. "Okay, I have four now. I can still put on make up and heels. People will still think I'm okay. ", "Number five. Going out with five children. Final coat of mascara, now the lipstick. Okay. I look like I have control over things." , "Six. I have six children. God, dear God, you have blessed me with six, but that means I have less time to get everyone out the door. I pray, dear Lord, matching shoes, with two socks per child or my hair and make up?"

***DISCLAIMER

If you look good, I don't hate you. I do make an effort now and then, because I feel good about being able to do it sometimes. We DO have a shoe tree - but, it is rarely in season. If we haven't invited you to our house, don't feel bad, it's just big enough for the eight of us and, in true American fashion, we have too much stuff so there isn't any room for you to sit.

grouch

2009-03-25T07:21:00.000-07:00

I'm a grumpity ol' grouch today. I admit it. I don't like how it makes me feel. I have a terrible headache, stomach ache and am super tired. I'd love to snuggle up under a fluffy blanket with a cup of coffee a book and an assortment of DVD's.......but. I have children to care for, classes to drop off and pick up for, lessons to prepare for, bible study class to study for, laundry to fold and put away, dishes to wash, food to cook, diapers to change, floors to sweep, and even a dog to pay attention to, bills to pay, remember personally where everyone put everything that they can not easily locate. sigh. And there is cheese dried on to the inside of the cheese grater. And two babies are crying. See you later!

Stupid Random Thoughts

2009-03-18T06:54:00.000-07:00

Man, oh Man! Here I am, excited about getting to work on writing a book. Thoughts colliding in my mind, scrambeling to be the first to be written down. The link up togther forming sentences, paragraphs, description. Title ideas, topic ideas. How to keep things general. What style to use.
I am so excited to be writing a book! I am continuing my bible studies, and want this book to be a reflection of who God has created me to be.

Then, I opened my mouth.

These wonderful, linked up thoughts were not great. They didn't link up in any real order. Things have begun to come out of my mouth that are so completely random, all I can do is laugh. Hard. And pray that the random things are not unGodly.

I blurted out some inane thing about snakes being able to see through their eyelids, and the relationship between man and serpent/Jesus Christ and Satan according to God in the book of Genesis, during a bible study about the book of Matthew. What? I have no idea. It seemed to make sense in my head, when I said it out loud, it was just strange.

My husband showed me some coats he picked up for the boys at a second hand store. I told him that one of them looked great. The other, I said, "doesn't look very orange." Blank stare. "What?" I ask. He tells me it isn't supposed to be orange. At all. Warm is what I meant. Why did orange come out? I don't recall even thinking about anything orange.

My hope is that by writing more things down, and being able to cross off the crazy random things, my thoughts will be more centered. Instead of things swimming through my head and oozing out of my mouth, they will be contained and categorized. Not that I will suddenly be eloquent and sound knowing and wise, but that I will strive for wise in my speech.

I have a feeling I'll be wasting loads of notebook paper...

super quick bible thought

2009-03-16T11:38:00.000-07:00

Church and community. Community and church. We have a 'church home'. We have a 'church community.' We have a community church. Right? I hope so. The church is not a building (thx to Pastors Jesse and Scott for saying this thousands of times over), it is the body of Christ. So, is our community lived out in the body of Christ? Should it be lived out in the body of Christ? Should our complications and balancing acts be lived out in the body of Christ? How about AS the body of Christ IN the community? If our relationships with other body members are healthy, and we are discipling one another, spurring each other on to good works, and supporting one another, then we are doing what God's word has instructed. Are we leaving these things where they are? In the building? EGADS! I hope not! Take these things out into your community. Be a Holy reflection to the people you see everyday!
I hope to live this way. I want people that don't love Jesus to see that I am someone who needs forgiveness, and strives to be Holy - not someone who believes themselves to have achieved perfection. That is discouraging to folks that believe that we have to have cast aside all of our junk before coming to the cross.
Obviously we don't want to '...keep on sinning to gain grace...', we just want to be real!

2009-03-15T11:53:00.000-07:00

Do you ever read the comments that are left for online news reports? They are amazing! I am going to generalize here, because there may be a couple of truly intelligent people that have left proufound remarks.
The remarks left by these people are stunningly preposterous! I love them! What a laugh. Often, they are just gross. Usually, however, they are hilarious.
My unofficial research has led to the discovery that no matter what the news story was - science, entertainment, travel, finance - the comments go to religion and evolution. Almost every single time! What angers people the most? Mentions of Jesus Christ, His saving grace, God's love and laws, and the cross.
Mentions of evolution don't seem to stir anger, just conversation. Someone types in "the bible says..." and the follow up comments are seething with hate!
If anyone reading this is having trouble finding lost people to pray for (really? All your friends are Christians?) then go on line, click on a news story, find an angry ranting post, and pray specifically for that person.
This is not a practice that should exclude sharing the gospel in person and building real face-to-face relationships, it's in addition to .
Try it!

sick, sick, sick!

2009-03-13T22:55:00.000-07:00

One kiddo has strep, I probably have strep, one baby might have strep. Ick, yuck and gross. I'm going to lean on prayer purposfully tomorrow as I stagger through the day. I plan on allowing lots of DVD watching, computer time, free reading, maybe even video games, I'll work on the Precept study of Matthew, and filling a notebook with scribblings intended for a book. We will consume chicken soup, possibly ice-cream. Believe it or not, the pediatrician listed ice cream as a good throat soother. Sounds good to me!

The Big Idea

2009-03-12T07:05:00.000-07:00

The Zoo Mama Chronicles
Adventures of a Church Lady.

I don’t like church ladies. They are mean and scary. They have rigid rules and high expectations. They gossip and are snooty. Church ladies exclude people and have small minds. These women are forces to be reckoned with. The whole of their existence is to shield their children from the perils of the earth – mainly Saturday morning cartoons and the neighbor children, keep the church kitchen in order and forever churn out casseroles for church potlucks. Modern dress is abhorrent to this crew, and laughter is but a few titters here and there at the antics of toddlers and embarrassment over some trivial matter. These women rule everything! Their husbands are weak and their children cower. I sometimes picture even God’s knees knocking a bit when these women take to prayer!
Horrible, terrible revelation: I am a church lady. Noooooooo! I grew up going to church. I go to church now. I am married and have children. I use the church kitchen, volunteer in the nursery, and teach Sunday School. There is, however, a difference. The high expectations are God’s. His law is written on my heart and I seek to serve Him. There are still potlucks and church building work to be done. I volunteer for these things and enjoy serving the local body of Christ this way. There are so many ways to be a woman in the local church (read: body of Christ) and get something done for God with compassion and joy.

writing stuff

2009-03-12T06:49:00.000-07:00

Writing is writing. Right? Writing a blog, or an email is not the same as writing a book. I hope. There here blog is a place for random musings. A place for a rough sketch of an idea. A place for thoughts to spill out over one another and hopefully match up.
Writing a book, however, is a different story. I am embarking on the great adventure of writing a book. I've taken classes, gone to writing conferences and researched the writing and publishing processes. Immensly boring stuff. Yawn. Yet, here am I! scribbling notes in a spiral notebook. Phrases that won't get out of my head. Ideas that seem to compound in my imagination. They are going down on paper. At some point they will be organized and typed up and printed out and sent places.
Here's the part that's difficult for me. Waiting. Time. I am definately a product of the microwave generation. I don't want to wait. I want it done right now. I understand that writing a book can take years! AUGH! I don't know if I can handle that!
I'm learning things. About God and what God wants me to know about myself and His love and grace...and timing. 'His thoughts are not like my thoughts, His ways are not like my ways...' (my paraphrase). I have lots of small children. It will take time for them to grow up. It takes time to train them in the way they should go. It takes time to get them to wipe their own hineys. It takes time to get to the bottom of the hamper.
Patience is something that I have prayed extensively for. God doesn't give me patience ZAP! He gives me many opportunities to practice patience. Many, many, many opportunities.
This book writing thing is something that I have thought about for a while. I've kicked the idea around from time to time. What on earth would I write about? I have nothing to write about. Through various blogs and othe outlets, I have proven that I can write about nothing, or at least not much. The book is an idea that grew and stuck. It swims around in my head. What's more is that the idea has traveled from my brain to my heart. I have to write the book. I have to be open and public about the gospel of Jesus Christ. I have to use the gifts that God has given me to share is message in they way he created me. I am not a preacher. I am not a televangelist. I am not a foreign missionary. I am a stay at home mom, home schooling, church going, God fearing, furniture rearranging, craft doing, book writing person.
Excerpts and ideas to follow.

Jerks for Jesus

2009-03-11T19:02:00.000-07:00

People say all sorts of things. ALL sorts. Some people talk about God, Faith and Jesus Christ. Yay! That is awesome! I do, too! They speak truth in love. They are gentle and kind. Others are less gentle, but still loving. The message is the gospel and the delivery is reverant.

Then, there are the Jerks for Jesus. They know everything about the bible, the history of christianity and every other major religion. They know what is wrong with everyone they come in contact with AND they know how to fix it. Always with an answer at the ready, they lay in wait for 'key' words in a conversation. Their eyes brighten, their shoulders roll back, they stand a little taller - and - Pounce! The victim, uh, listener, now knows just how to make his life right. Should he choose to ignore the free advice and/or not show marked improvement within the week...watch out...the JfJ is on the move.

I, myself have been known as a JfJ. Not for spouting and being bossy, but for talking about the truth and wondering what sort of truth others believe. Folks get pretty edgy when they don't have answer to that! When I say atheism, Darwin, Buddah, power, fortune, or fame-people will politely join the conversation. When I say God, Jesus Crist, satan, Heaven, or hell, people become defensive and angry. I am not confused as to why. I'm a JfJ - I know the answer (haha!). It's heartbreaking, actually. The thought that someone could spend eternity absent from the Creator is enough to compel me to continue speaking the truth. I will Christ as I continue to learn and grow in Him.

I don't have all the answers. I'm getting a few as I go - but nothing that will stop the universe!

Modern psalm of Praise

2009-03-06T13:16:00.001-08:00

You have heard my cry, Oh God! You have heard my wailing!
Lord God, you have heard my dying breath and have responded.
My needs are met through You, Most High!
You, precious Lord have sent relief. I now have hope and joy.
The one was sent, Oh God, to clear the way. To straighten the mess, and to tidy the bowl.
My relief is evident. My spirit is full. I overflow with thanksgiving!
Your servent found his way to my pain and has relieved my distress.
You are faithful and true!

Lamentations

2009-03-05T10:06:00.000-08:00

Where are you God?
And where is the shephard, knowledgeable and wise, that you have promised me?
You are immovable. Always in the same place. I don't remember moving. I don't recall stepping away from you, yet I look for you and and cannot see you.
The delights that you have blessed me with, the gifts that you have given, have become opressive and strangling.
They climb over me and surround me and shade me from you.
They consume my mind, they steal my strength. My soul is void,it is empty.
I long for your presence. Your abiding comfort, your strength. The strength that you promised, God, where is it?
I pray for understanding and a soft heart when I read your words. The understanding does not come. Why do I not recieve your wisdom? Why am I cast out in the shadows, cold and confused?
I come up for air. I have an hour. One hour of quiet, alone, without other people. I cry out for you, God. I scream out for your Holy Spirit. Why can I not hear your Spirit through all of the noise? Why does your spirit not scream out for me as I do for you?
O, Holy God, these tears course down my face, I can not choke them back. They flow out, taking with them my energy.
You have given me gifts of Mercy and of Encouragement, yet you put me in a place of leadership and teaching. I am so weak, God. I could lie on my face and die. You don't let me. You push me through each day. You allow my eyes to open each morning and my breath to continue through the night. You cause my sleep to be disturbed. You give me troubling dreams. You send visions of tidal waves that destroy everything around me, and my family and my self.
You show me my weakness. You show me that I am unable on my own. I reach for you. I long for you. I fall on my knees to grasp some part of you, yet you leave me alone.
Show me. Show me. I am ready to know. I can not wait any longer. my relationships suffer because of this turmoil in me.
God, make me whole. Give me peace.

Book Review

2009-02-23T05:04:00.000-08:00

My daughter has these great teen fiction books The Christy Miller series. I enjoy reading what she does so that we can discuss it afterward. In this case, I wanted to read the books with her because they are written by a christian auther that wants to give young teens a picture of what it is like to apply biblical principle to their lives.
When people write books about God, the bible, and application of scripture, sometimes it gets warped. A verse is taken out of context, or a truth is mixed up in a personal opinion. It sounds like the truth, but isn't quite. There's something a little off. I didn't read the Twilight series with my daughter because, well, the whole series is more than a little off. Entertaining, perhaps, but I didn't need to wonder if the truth was being twisted. In the vampire books, there is no truth. It's all fantasy. Fun, but not as worrisom as believing a lie.
These are great books. I'm sure they aren't perfect, but it appears that author Robin Jones Gunn has done her research. She hits on topics that are important and life consuming for most teens in the USA. She doesn't go into gory and disturbing detail if someting terrible is happening to one of the characters. She is able to communicate through her writing so that the reader knows what happened, and the story continues. There is enough gory and disturbing detail in everyday life, I don't believe that my children need to read about in their fiction.
The biblical refrences are right on - I looked them up myself to make sure that the verse addresses and content match, they do. The commentary, or application that the characters come up with is great. There are some characters whose faith is strong. They are wise and willing to share with new believers with gentelness. This is impressive to me. This series more than encourages a life of faith. It is a great tool to use for expounding on life application lessons with the bible, and they are a fun read
Many thanks to Tia for introducing us to this series!

Psalms

2009-02-13T07:06:00.000-08:00

I was supposed to have the kiddos up 5 minutes ago. I'll make this quick. I have been reading the Psalms this morning. I chose Psalms because it' what our Pastor is chatting about on Sunday mornings. I posted something on Facebook about a Psalm, then I read further and posted somethign else. A friend noticed that my Profile became a blog. So here we are!
Psalms are a great place to find incredibly direct communication with God, praises or lament. I love the laments that end by giving God glory. Psalms that say just what I am thinking and feeling in a particular moment and direct my to God's goodness, His purpose, His faithfulness.
Psalm 13 and Psalm 24 were my focus this morning. Psalm 13 is a reminder to trust God even when He doesn't answer us immediately (in my time) and Psalm 24 is a reminder that everything belongs to God (even when my grasp is white knuckle).

Friends

2009-01-17T05:51:00.000-08:00

Have you been FaceBook-ing? It is fun! I like it better than My Space. Not because of programs or graphics or navigation. Because it's easier to find friends! I have never felt so good as when my friend counter clicked to 100! Talk about an Ego boost!
What's cool about this is that I absolutely know each person in my friends list. Do they know me? I'm not really sure. I felt invisible during HS and college. There was a group of people that I knew and spent time with, sure. I had classes with others, so we recognized faces. I was surprised, actually, that some people from so long ago accepted my friend invites. I do not have my maiden name on my listing, and most of us have changed quite a bit physically since those long ago years.
I have lamented a few times that I just don't have any friends. Boo-Hoo, poor me, no one wants to spend time with me. So, I evaluated the situation. Am I just nerdy? Really weird? Do I say offensive things? Do I smell bad? As it happens, I had this idea of what friendship is supposed to be among adult women with children that stay home to raise them. I thought that we should be getting together at eachother's homes and sipping coffee at the kitchen table, visiting while the children play quietly and responsibly together.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

That isn't how it goes at all! We get together and spend three quarters of that time telling the children to be quiet or to get along and be quiet or how to solve their problems and be quiet and to clean up and to be quiet. We go a few weeks without saying anything significant to one another and suddenly realize it. "Oh! We haven't spoken in a long time! Quick, let's get a meaningful conversation in, I have ten minutes, you?"

I have come to believe that a busy mom that would take their one spare set of 10 minutes to have conversation with someone and make it a priority is a good friend. Moms that will add children to their carpool on a moments notice, or that will give you their last diaper, and hold the baby while you use the bathroom one of two times for that entire day. Moms that simply sweep the papers and crayons and playdough off of the table when you show up, and don't get embarrassed when you grab the broom and start helping out. Moms that don't wrinkle up their noses in disgust at the overwhelming smell of spit up radiating from your shoulder. Mom's that don't say a word about your child's new haircut when it is obvious that it was given by another small child. These are friends that make life bearable and enjoyable.

This is a season of life. I am blessed to share it with others that revel in their current state. I hope I remember these times when I move into another season. I hope to be that good friend to some other harried, tired, overloaded women with small children and an overflowing diaperbag.

Mothers of the world - breath!

2008-12-29T22:09:00.000-08:00

"...Christmas future is far away, and Christmas past is past..."
Looking at the Christmas decorations still up and the tree still lit. The recycle bin overflowing with cardboard packaging and powdered sugar still being found in remote kitchen corners. Christmas was different for our family this year. I did all the baking and treat making I usually do, but wasn't able to ship it out. Most of our family were unable to travel due to the snow, so we celebrated with our immediate family.
This was odd for me. I made a turkey dinner, we played carols on the radio all day. We watched some children's Christmas specials and read books, the children played with their toys. I cleaned up wrapping paper and packaging and all of those twistie ties!!! My 7 yo son, hoping to show us in one action, how responsible he is, found a great place to put his treashured legos and bionicles away. He's been putting them away every day now! Yeah! It isn't, however, enough responsiblity to prove that he should have the privilege of staying up late like his 12 yo sister. Oh, man!
He was told, however, to keep up the good choices and privileges will be awarded as appropriate.
His happiness abounds even today.
The 'holiday season' is still upon us. Children are still on vacation from school, DH has extra time off work. Treats still fill the kitchen counter. Another party is scheduled for the near future. There is still something fun and inviting to look forward to. We are in the lazy, after Christmas, before New Year stage. Sipping the homemade hot cocoa and playing another midnight game of Monopoly.

Let it Snow

2008-12-24T23:14:00.000-08:00

Complain, grumble, whine, stomp, mope. That's me, about the snow. It is piled up all over the place! Walks and drives have been shoveled and re-shoveled. It's blowing off the roof tops, and they are still covered!
I am tired of being stuck in the house. I am sick of cooking and cleaning it up. I am tired nearly to death of the laundry resulting from forays to play in the snow.
Someone pointed out the beauty of the snow. How it covers everything and makes it look so clean and fresh.
Okay. I can buy that. It looks clean and fresh - but what is underneath? A bunch of icky muck. Of course, with this much snow, by the time we see the end of it, it'll be spring and new growth will be evident.
This is what I have been seeing at home this week. I may have been 'stuck' at home with my children all week, but much good has come from it. For one, there has been much consistancy in dealing with discipline issues. Discipline has been lax at our home for a few weeks. Ever since the newest was born and the holiday season began, our routines have been disrupted. The children's behavior had become out of hand. It was so easy to see that these children had been undisciplined. This week, I have been able to be consistant with the praise as well. I made it very clear to one of the older children that it isn't just the bad choices that I notice. I also notice, look for, and really hope to see when good choices are made.
God's word tells us that those who refuse discipline are fools. That calamity befalls their lives. It tells us that those who choose to live by God's word (obey your parents...)will be blessed. It works. A couple of rough days have given way to better communication and good choices. On the parents part as well as the kids!
They sure got on me when I threw a tantrum. Foot stomping and all! They let me know what I did wrong and how I should have acted instead - and why!
Yes! They hear us! and they understand!

Family

2008-11-28T09:44:00.000-08:00

Our family is greatful to you. Everyone that prayed, brought meals, provided gifts of baby clothes, diapers, wipes, etc., and those that kept our children, believing it would be for two nights, and keeping them nearly a week instead.
Without the support of a family like ours, and the grace of God, it is easy to see how people can fall into the depths of dispair and give themselves over to hoplessness.
We, as always, have much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving Holiday. Specifically we are thankful for the local body of Christ, comeing together and serving our needs physically and spiritually. We are thankful for our newest son's health, and for the wisdom provided to doctors and nurses working with our baby. We are thankful for the kind, gentle nature of the Nurses in the NICU. We are thankful that the price of gas has gone down, as Daddy made many trips back and forth. We are thankful for a generous and selfless grandmother that flew, last minute, half way accross the continent to help us out at home. We are thankful for another selfless grandmother and aunt that hosted Thanksgiving for the family so that our 'zoo' wouldn't have far to travel for festivities.
God is good in so many ways. That He touches people's hearts to serve one another without selfish ambition is a blessing. It has taken my husband and myself a while to accept this kind of gift graciously. We have begrudgingly accepted help in the past. We moved on to sheepishly asking for help when it seemed there was no way we could do it ourselves. We have since received the blessing of helping others with the attitude of love and kindness, because we wanted to serve Jesus Christ and see God receive glory. It is easier now to set aside pride, and allow God's glory to shine however He sees fit. Not easy - easier. Pride still creeps in, whispering that even the bible says to 'stand on your own two feet.' Oh, the king of Pride and father of Lies does know how to twist God's own words!

Home at Last

2008-11-28T09:24:00.000-08:00

Benjamin Timothy entered the world with dramatic flair November 17th, 3:29 pm, weighing 7 lbs 8 oz and measuring 19 in. long.
He managed to get the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck a couple of times. Some how, that umbilical cord was a freakishly long specimen. I have never heard of any statistics in regards to the length of an umbilical cord. I didn't know it was important or interesting for any reason. Apparently, it is.
With each contraction during hard labor, the umbilical cord was pinched off and Benjamin wasn't getting any oxygen. His heart rate would fall significantly during the contraction while the looped umbilical cord was strangling him. You know how we always hear, "Don't push yet! Wait!", this time the doctor said, "I know you aren't fully dilated yet, but we have to get this baby out, so start pushing." I did, everyone helped. Every nurse on the floor that wasn't busy was in the room, and Benjamin finally made is entrance. Once he was out, umbilical cord removed, he let out a lusty cry and seemed to be fine. Apgar scores were great, his color was great. Everything was great. Then, before he was 24 hours old, he was yellow. No wet diapers at all.
The local hospital doesn't have the resources to examine all the possibilities, so they call a transport team. Just before the transport team is leaving for a NICU in another city, Benjamin eliminates his entire bladder. All over the place.
His respiration was an issue while he was being given a feeding tube, and he vomited everything that went down the tube. Now we have respiratory issues along with digestive issues.
The respiratory issues also resolved themselves. He went to the NICU anyway. We spent 5 days there. The current diagnosis is 'We don't know'. We'll check up in six months to make sure the entire digestive system is in working order. Aside from that, we are working on fattening the little man up. He seems agreeable to this plan.

Fat Chick

2008-11-05T20:00:00.000-08:00

Yep. I'm a fat chick. Rather a large girl. That's me.
People have been kind, "Oh, you're not fat!" "I've seen fat, that's not you!". Thank you dear friends. I feel so good about myself for a few minutes when you say those things. Then I climb a flight of stairs, or catch a glimpse of myself in a window reflection, or actually notice how large my underpants are when folding the laundry.
I confessed to someone recently why I am fat. I hadn't planned on sharing that with anyone. Ever. It seemed really stupid. It still does.
The fact is, I am fat now, and I don't want to be anymore. I want to be healthy. I want to be confident that no matter where I find myself, I will always fit entirely on the chair, that the arms won't get stuck on my hips and cause embarrassment when I try to get up. I want to be able to use the public restroom without the stall door brushing my belly fat! I don't want to have to turn sideways when going through a turnstile at the State Fair.
I want to practice soccer drills with my kids and ride a bicycle more than half a block!
There was a time when walking, running, lifting weights at the 'Y', and swimming - in a swimsuit - were fun. Now those things all sound like horrifying punishments, meant to humiliate.
Okay. Here it is. Do I really want anyone on earth to be able to read this? If I never lose all of the weight, will this haunt me forever? Sigh. Okay God. I AM listening, I just don't like it. I don't really want to do it. I'm doing it. I'M DOING IT!
It's because men are stupid. Gee whiz. HE notices everything. Men are not entirely stupid, but some of them, at some point have done something stupid.
In my brief history, more than one adult, married, and seemingly 'Godly' man has proven himself to be more than stupid. As a teen and young adult, these men have pressed upon me their lustful desires. Now, they did not actually touch me or force me to do anything. They made their thoughts plain, and allowed me to say 'no way!', but without any consequence on their part. Who was I going to tell? Who would believe me? Who would care as long as nothing 'actually happened'?
Here I am, wondering what it is I am doing to invite this behavior. Am I walking a particular way? Is it my clothing? (my parents have always encouraged modest dress, and, honestly, I don't feel comfortable in immodest clothing anyway!) Do I look at people in a way that is inviting? Is there some smoldering, come-hither look that I am completely unaware of shooting from my eyes? What could it possibly be?
Do I have an aura of helplessness? Of neediness? Do I laugh to readily at a joke? Is it wrong to shoot out a joke of my own? Do I listen too well? Not well enough? Am I putting myself in these situations?
I though so, for a long time I thought so.
Then, I go married. I thought "I don't need to encourage men to notice my physically any more, so I'll put on weight. That'll stop their problems. Men aren't attracted to heavy women!" So it began. Then it continued. What began as a defense became a habit. A way of life. An issue all on it's own. Guess what I found out after a divorce. There ARE men out there who like fat women. Or they don't care what shape the woman is. Certain kinds of men are out there. Some how, I am a complete loser magnet.
I found one that isn't a loser. He's great. He's supportive of me and loves me. I'll tell more about him later.
I know now that the shape of my body isn't going to stop a stupid man from being stupid.
I am headed back to the 'Y'!

Oh, still pregnant?

2008-10-21T20:46:00.000-07:00

Truly. Really. People say that. "Haven't had that baby yet?" Can they be serious? Hasn't anyone figured out how inane a question that is? How boorish a person sounds asking that? ACK!!!
I am four weeks from my due date. I get to induce a week early. WooHoo! Yeah!
I look huge. Someone asked me how many are in there.
I usually smile, and when asked what I am having reply elephant, hippo or whale. It's really so much better than what is running through my mind. Things that I should be asking forgiveness for later.
I'd like to look blank and say "Why do you ask?" I just can't do it, though. Most of these people are nice and mean well. They don't say thoughtless things all of the time. It's just a thing to say to an obviously uncomfortable, waddeling, shuffeling, swollen, bleary eyed, huffing and puffing pregnant person.
Next time you see a woman in said form, instead of asking a lame rhetorical question, ask if you can get her something to eat and a cushy place to sit. Offer to tie her shoe and run some errand for her. Go get the laundry out of the clothes drier, put the dishes away from the bottom rack of the dishwasher, clean the bathtub, get the dustpan out and clear up that pile that is growing in the corner because she can't get back up after bending down to do something!
Show up at her house at 7 am and offer to get breakfast for the kids so she can lay in bed another hour since she's been up every 20 minutes to Pee!
When my children are grown and I have the opportunity to change my ministry tactics and technics, I am going to help women that are pregnant and have small children. No one does it any more.
Even grandparents back out. They are too tired and frail. They don't have time. That isn't a grandparents role. I am retired. I've done my time.
I spew you out, you tepid and defiled experienced ones!
You already know how to do this stuff!
c'mon, now! Don't sit back and watch us fall on our faces!
Help us to get it right. Help us to be enouraged that this time will pass and we may end up missing it.
Help us to want to make these years memorable for good things!
Come alongside and teach us, encourage us, love us.
Sigh.
crumb. Those are MY shoes on the kitchen floor. Just a minute, I'll *grunt* get them *grunt* oops. *ungh* I seem to be stuck. Hey. The kitchen floor is kind of comfy...

A Really Rude Dude

2008-10-11T16:05:00.000-07:00

I'm calling my oldest son in for dinner when my neighbor waves me over. She's telling me how much she dislikes a particular boy in the neighborhood. She has heard him using foul language and terrible, awful, no good, very bad remarks toward her children and others. Neighbor has decided that her children will not associate with Rude Dude, and she was counceling oldest son to steer clear as well.
I am listening with interest, as I, too, have heard the Rude Dude's mouth in action. I don't like it either. Rude Dude and Oldest Son used to play together some, mostly riding bikes together, until recently. I am getting ready to offer a little council to Neighbor in how she judges Rude Dude. After all, he is a child and we have no idea what his home life is like.
Then she tells me 'I told your son to stay away from him because he is mean and has a yucky mouth. Your son told me - well, he doesn't know God, you know."
My momentary shock...
I am ecstatic! Oldest Son DOES listen and retain! Even the good stuff!
After all, how can we judge someone by God's measuring stick, when the someone doesn't have any clue what that measuring stick is, or how to be measured by it? We can't! We aren't even supposed to try!
Way to go Oldest Son!

It's Getting Spiritual in Here

2008-10-03T14:06:00.001-07:00

I've been vague so far in my posts about the driving power above what I believe and why I believe it. It isn't my intent to sermonize, and I won't preach.
God is my God. Jesus Christ is my redeemer. The Holy Spirit is my guide, the giver of wisdom.
I will elaborate in future posts!

Encouraged to be Discouraged

2008-10-03T13:45:00.000-07:00

Do we still encourage each other?
It's hard to tell. I hear, and dole out so many "you are right to feel that way..." and "who wouldn't be (whatever emotion it is) about that..." comments, that I wonder how effective they are.
They really are effective. The effect is that the hearer has confirmation that their dejected, downstrodden state is normal and that there isn't any hope otherwise. The effect is that there are so many influential people (e.g. parents, grandparents, child care providers, teachers, etc.) that remain convinced that their circumstance merits a state of discouragement, and that they/we must continue to plod along in said state.
Since when to circumstances dictate our character? Better, when should they? Isn't it more true that our circumstances show our character? Why don't we encourage one another rather than commiserate?
I am not great at having the 'right' thing to say when someone is feeling discouraged. I am sure trite phrases won't help, so I avoid saying anything at all. When I have had a terrible day, week, whatever, and I am in tears and don't see how I can continue with current circumstances, the last thing I want to hear is "This too shall pass" or "You'll laugh about this later"
AAAuuggghh! SHUT UP!!!
How about an offer to help with something. Anything. 'Can I get you a cup of coffee?'. Not that the coffee solves the problem, but that the listener is willing to continue listening is a relief! Maybe 'It is discouraging when things don't come out the way we hoped they would.' This is an empathetic statement. It does not in any way validify a tantrum or a continuation of a downtrodden attitude.
It is also not a bright yellow smiley face demanding perky replies at every 'how are you?'!
Encourage, people! Yes, things can get better. What if they don't? Isn't attitude more important than the circumstance?
Author Dave Branon shares about two rollerbladers, whose favorite route is a long hill. One would say "are you ready for the hill?" Just before pushing their way to the top. One day, the other rollerblader said "could you please not say that? You make it sound like a huge mountain and that discourages me."
Every hill is too high if we think we have to climb it all at once - and if the people around us keep telling us it is insurmountable and that is all there is too it!
Take the hill a little at a time, and remind one another, that we have accomplished something, and we are about to accomplish something else!

An Atypical Day

2008-09-27T18:29:00.000-07:00

This out of the ordinary day would have been typical so many years ago, or, perhaps, in another culture.
Hubby did outside work and I did inside work. The sun was shining, the temps were in the high sixties, partially cloudy. The only hint of autumn, the turning leaves on the deciduous trees around the area.
D.H. took two boys to the PeeWee football game today (Whew!). I breakfasted with daughters and baby boy. We enjoyed one another's company for a while, then on to laundry, dishes, general clean up.
I decided to rearrange the counter tops a bit, do some deep cleaning in the kitchen, and - hang on to your hats - bake a pie! Really!
In between helping Daddy with out door work, kids did some school work. We are a home schooling family, and fit the work into our schedules all over the place. The kids actually requested to do their classes today - probably because they are online.
We noticed today that the 3 year old boy is the helper with the most. He has stamina and sticks to the task, whatever it is. In fact, for the past two hours, he has been the only kid out there helping!
Dad has barbequed some pork chops and I have prepared vegetables inside (Hee,hee). We are getting ready to sit all around the table for dinner together. AAAhhhh....

The Big Date

2008-09-21T16:30:00.000-07:00

Yes! D.H. and I went out to the fair for a concert without children last night! We double dated with another couple. All the children were at their house, and we hired two sitters for the evening. There was pizza for the kiddos, we ate some before we left. We ended up running a little behind schedule as my hubby was kept late at work. The men sat up front and the ladies took over the back. Mr. Other couple was driving. His style was adopted to get us there in a timely fashion. I am afraid I ruined his plans.
Being pregnant, pizza freshly in tummy, and sitting in the back seat are not a good mix. Dear, darling, wonderful friend, Mr. Other couple pulled off to the side of the freeway for me. I got to lean over a barrier wall and lose it in the blackberry bushes below.
Upchucking on the side of the freeway is not something I have ever imagined myself doing. Now I have done it. I hope I don't need to do it again. And it may be a while before I enjoy another slice of pizza. Ew.

Batteling Corsets and Girdles

2008-09-20T14:13:00.000-07:00

PeeWee Football at 9 am Every Saturday Morning! WooHoo! Who can say no to that? I'll tell you who. Anyone that isn't a parent of a PeeWee Football player. Six games into the season, and nary a relative has arrived at a game. My PeeWee has invited everyone. Really. If you have met him in the last six weeks, he has invited you to a game.
Moms, Dads, and sometimes reluctant siblings rise by six to get a hearty breakfast into said PeeWee and get the child outfitted before heading out the door. PeeWee has to arrive at the field an hour early for warm up and roster check.
In this family, Dad's work schedule included Saturday. That means Mom has the privilege of out fitting the little footballer.
Oh my.
Have you any idea how many pads come with the uniform? There are pockets and slots everywhere on the pants, including a pair of mesh undies with slots. Correction. These are not 'mesh undies, MOM. It's a girdle!' oh. that's much better. My big, bad, shoulder padded, football playing boy is on the field wearing a padded girdle.
After having inserted the pads backward and in all the wrong places, my 7 year old instructs me to please lace up his pants. silence. Laced up pants? It makes the stretchy pants go all around the pads and still close in front, keeping everything in. Sounds like a corset.
There he is, on the field wearing a uniform with skulls and crossbones on it, wearing a girdle and a corset.
Now the shoulder pads. Does the jersey actually fit over the shoulder pads? And how does one remove the helmet from little PeeWee's head without actually detaching the ears?
We managed to get everything together this morning. Arrived at the field closer to on time than really late, still good. Warm ups begin. I sink down in my folding chair, which suddenly seems incredibly comfy and cozy, when PeeWee approaches.
'Mom. I need you to take me to the bathroom.'
!!!!!

Heart Failure?

2008-09-19T14:27:00.000-07:00

Ladies Bible study, and Chapel Automotive Ministry are what we do on Thursday evenings.
Bible study ran over some. A lot. Okay, I was home about an hour later than usual. My husband was already in bed. Not terribly unusual as he gets up before dawn for work.
I went about the usual business, chasing monsters in their underwear around the house to get them into bed. I was feeling so good about being a helpmeet to my husband. I had taken all of the children with me to biblestudy, I had actually cooked dinner, dishes were done, the coffee pot was ready to brew a fresh pot in the morning, the dog was let in and fed, the children had their jammies on and their teeth were brushed. Not only that, they were fighting over who got to read the bible story before bed. What? Fighting over the Bible isn't good?
At any rate, I began to hear some irritated moaning and rustling about in bed. I began to feel irritated. What? I thought. Can't deal with a little noise while 5 other people get through the evening rituals? So, my helpmeet attitude flew out the door. Ick.
Finally, I get into bed, and D.H. tells me that he is in excruciating pain. The kind that gives a person sweats and nausea. I call the Nurse's Hotline, and he gets upset that perhaps I am calling an ambulance. I give the nurse all of the info, she says it sounds like it could be cardiac arrest, I suggest you take him to the hospital! ACK! Triple ACK!
My mind begins to race. Get dressed, get the kids up. Who shall I call to take the kids? Should I call Gramma? Honey, we need to go to the hospital!
He says, I just want to go to sleep.
What? sleep? you might be having a heart attack?
I'm not having a heart attack.
The nurse said you might be having a heart attack!
I'm not having a heart attack.
Honey, your high blood pressure. This isn't good...
I. AM. NOT. HAVING. A. HEART. ATTACK.
oh.
I need some sleep.
o.k. but, if it isn't a heart attack, what is it?
sigh.
what?
I think I am passing a gall stone.
I see.
I had a donut today.
one donut?
yup. just one donut. and a maple bar. and a cream filled.
that's three donuts.
nope. it's just one. maple bars and cream filled don't have a hole in them.
ummm...
yeah. can we go to sleep now?
Can you sleep throug the pain?
I am very willing to try.
This morning, he was gone to work when I woke up. No one has called to tell me that Hubby was rushed to the hospital.
I'm feeling that helpmeet thing come on again.

The First Post

2008-09-18T13:25:00.001-07:00

Is the first post like the first pancake?
Today was incredibly exciting. We trekked to the thrift store, bought shoes and pants for a couple of the children and watched the venus fly trap eat a few flies.
The venus fly trap part is the most exciting to me. We live in an area that is actually known, for 30 miles in each direction, for it's summer time fly infestation. It is now mid-September. The flies should be gone. It is still warm here. Lovin' the extra sunny, warm days. Not so much with the extended play program for the flies! I detest swatting them on the walls and ceilings where they leave nasty 'splat' marks.
My husband bought this great gadget that looks like a tennis racket, but is electrified, so it actually fries the little critters. Great, right? uh, nuh. They smoke and give off a foul odor. It's almost worse than the splat marks.
So...as my darling ducks in a row (you believe that, yes?) and I were shopping for bare essentials at Fred Meyer (I bet yoy believe that, too!) my 12 year old spotted the pitcher plant, and next to it, the venus fly trap. Home they came, and oh the fun that ensued! Our fly population is down by half in a mere 24 hrs! Hurrah! Victory is mine!