Oh, still pregnant?

Truly. Really. People say that. "Haven't had that baby yet?" Can they be serious? Hasn't anyone figured out how inane a question that is? How boorish a person sounds asking that? ACK!!!
I am four weeks from my due date. I get to induce a week early. WooHoo! Yeah!
I look huge. Someone asked me how many are in there.
I usually smile, and when asked what I am having reply elephant, hippo or whale. It's really so much better than what is running through my mind. Things that I should be asking forgiveness for later.
I'd like to look blank and say "Why do you ask?" I just can't do it, though. Most of these people are nice and mean well. They don't say thoughtless things all of the time. It's just a thing to say to an obviously uncomfortable, waddeling, shuffeling, swollen, bleary eyed, huffing and puffing pregnant person.
Next time you see a woman in said form, instead of asking a lame rhetorical question, ask if you can get her something to eat and a cushy place to sit. Offer to tie her shoe and run some errand for her. Go get the laundry out of the clothes drier, put the dishes away from the bottom rack of the dishwasher, clean the bathtub, get the dustpan out and clear up that pile that is growing in the corner because she can't get back up after bending down to do something!
Show up at her house at 7 am and offer to get breakfast for the kids so she can lay in bed another hour since she's been up every 20 minutes to Pee!
When my children are grown and I have the opportunity to change my ministry tactics and technics, I am going to help women that are pregnant and have small children. No one does it any more.
Even grandparents back out. They are too tired and frail. They don't have time. That isn't a grandparents role. I am retired. I've done my time.
I spew you out, you tepid and defiled experienced ones!
You already know how to do this stuff!
c'mon, now! Don't sit back and watch us fall on our faces!
Help us to get it right. Help us to be enouraged that this time will pass and we may end up missing it.
Help us to want to make these years memorable for good things!
Come alongside and teach us, encourage us, love us.
Sigh.
crumb. Those are MY shoes on the kitchen floor. Just a minute, I'll *grunt* get them *grunt* oops. *ungh* I seem to be stuck. Hey. The kitchen floor is kind of comfy...

A Really Rude Dude

I'm calling my oldest son in for dinner when my neighbor waves me over. She's telling me how much she dislikes a particular boy in the neighborhood. She has heard him using foul language and terrible, awful, no good, very bad remarks toward her children and others. Neighbor has decided that her children will not associate with Rude Dude, and she was counceling oldest son to steer clear as well.
I am listening with interest, as I, too, have heard the Rude Dude's mouth in action. I don't like it either. Rude Dude and Oldest Son used to play together some, mostly riding bikes together, until recently. I am getting ready to offer a little council to Neighbor in how she judges Rude Dude. After all, he is a child and we have no idea what his home life is like.
Then she tells me 'I told your son to stay away from him because he is mean and has a yucky mouth. Your son told me - well, he doesn't know God, you know."
My momentary shock...
I am ecstatic! Oldest Son DOES listen and retain! Even the good stuff!
After all, how can we judge someone by God's measuring stick, when the someone doesn't have any clue what that measuring stick is, or how to be measured by it? We can't! We aren't even supposed to try!
Way to go Oldest Son!