Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Oh, still pregnant?

Truly. Really. People say that. "Haven't had that baby yet?" Can they be serious? Hasn't anyone figured out how inane a question that is? How boorish a person sounds asking that? ACK!!!
I am four weeks from my due date. I get to induce a week early. WooHoo! Yeah!
I look huge. Someone asked me how many are in there.
I usually smile, and when asked what I am having reply elephant, hippo or whale. It's really so much better than what is running through my mind. Things that I should be asking forgiveness for later.
I'd like to look blank and say "Why do you ask?" I just can't do it, though. Most of these people are nice and mean well. They don't say thoughtless things all of the time. It's just a thing to say to an obviously uncomfortable, waddeling, shuffeling, swollen, bleary eyed, huffing and puffing pregnant person.
Next time you see a woman in said form, instead of asking a lame rhetorical question, ask if you can get her something to eat and a cushy place to sit. Offer to tie her shoe and run some errand for her. Go get the laundry out of the clothes drier, put the dishes away from the bottom rack of the dishwasher, clean the bathtub, get the dustpan out and clear up that pile that is growing in the corner because she can't get back up after bending down to do something!
Show up at her house at 7 am and offer to get breakfast for the kids so she can lay in bed another hour since she's been up every 20 minutes to Pee!
When my children are grown and I have the opportunity to change my ministry tactics and technics, I am going to help women that are pregnant and have small children. No one does it any more.
Even grandparents back out. They are too tired and frail. They don't have time. That isn't a grandparents role. I am retired. I've done my time.
I spew you out, you tepid and defiled experienced ones!
You already know how to do this stuff!
c'mon, now! Don't sit back and watch us fall on our faces!
Help us to get it right. Help us to be enouraged that this time will pass and we may end up missing it.
Help us to want to make these years memorable for good things!
Come alongside and teach us, encourage us, love us.
Sigh.
crumb. Those are MY shoes on the kitchen floor. Just a minute, I'll *grunt* get them *grunt* oops. *ungh* I seem to be stuck. Hey. The kitchen floor is kind of comfy...

Saturday, October 11, 2008

A Really Rude Dude

I'm calling my oldest son in for dinner when my neighbor waves me over. She's telling me how much she dislikes a particular boy in the neighborhood. She has heard him using foul language and terrible, awful, no good, very bad remarks toward her children and others. Neighbor has decided that her children will not associate with Rude Dude, and she was counceling oldest son to steer clear as well.
I am listening with interest, as I, too, have heard the Rude Dude's mouth in action. I don't like it either. Rude Dude and Oldest Son used to play together some, mostly riding bikes together, until recently. I am getting ready to offer a little council to Neighbor in how she judges Rude Dude. After all, he is a child and we have no idea what his home life is like.
Then she tells me 'I told your son to stay away from him because he is mean and has a yucky mouth. Your son told me - well, he doesn't know God, you know."
My momentary shock...
I am ecstatic! Oldest Son DOES listen and retain! Even the good stuff!
After all, how can we judge someone by God's measuring stick, when the someone doesn't have any clue what that measuring stick is, or how to be measured by it? We can't! We aren't even supposed to try!
Way to go Oldest Son!

Friday, October 3, 2008

It's Getting Spiritual in Here

I've been vague so far in my posts about the driving power above what I believe and why I believe it. It isn't my intent to sermonize, and I won't preach.
God is my God. Jesus Christ is my redeemer. The Holy Spirit is my guide, the giver of wisdom.
I will elaborate in future posts!

Encouraged to be Discouraged

Do we still encourage each other?
It's hard to tell. I hear, and dole out so many "you are right to feel that way..." and "who wouldn't be (whatever emotion it is) about that..." comments, that I wonder how effective they are.
They really are effective. The effect is that the hearer has confirmation that their dejected, downstrodden state is normal and that there isn't any hope otherwise. The effect is that there are so many influential people (e.g. parents, grandparents, child care providers, teachers, etc.) that remain convinced that their circumstance merits a state of discouragement, and that they/we must continue to plod along in said state.
Since when to circumstances dictate our character? Better, when should they? Isn't it more true that our circumstances show our character? Why don't we encourage one another rather than commiserate?
I am not great at having the 'right' thing to say when someone is feeling discouraged. I am sure trite phrases won't help, so I avoid saying anything at all. When I have had a terrible day, week, whatever, and I am in tears and don't see how I can continue with current circumstances, the last thing I want to hear is "This too shall pass" or "You'll laugh about this later"
AAAuuggghh! SHUT UP!!!
How about an offer to help with something. Anything. 'Can I get you a cup of coffee?'. Not that the coffee solves the problem, but that the listener is willing to continue listening is a relief! Maybe 'It is discouraging when things don't come out the way we hoped they would.' This is an empathetic statement. It does not in any way validify a tantrum or a continuation of a downtrodden attitude.
It is also not a bright yellow smiley face demanding perky replies at every 'how are you?'!
Encourage, people! Yes, things can get better. What if they don't? Isn't attitude more important than the circumstance?
Author Dave Branon shares about two rollerbladers, whose favorite route is a long hill. One would say "are you ready for the hill?" Just before pushing their way to the top. One day, the other rollerblader said "could you please not say that? You make it sound like a huge mountain and that discourages me."
Every hill is too high if we think we have to climb it all at once - and if the people around us keep telling us it is insurmountable and that is all there is too it!
Take the hill a little at a time, and remind one another, that we have accomplished something, and we are about to accomplish something else!