What's cool about this is that I absolutely know each person in my friends list. Do they know me? I'm not really sure. I felt invisible during HS and college. There was a group of people that I knew and spent time with, sure. I had classes with others, so we recognized faces. I was surprised, actually, that some people from so long ago accepted my friend invites. I do not have my maiden name on my listing, and most of us have changed quite a bit physically since those long ago years.
I have lamented a few times that I just don't have any friends. Boo-Hoo, poor me, no one wants to spend time with me. So, I evaluated the situation. Am I just nerdy? Really weird? Do I say offensive things? Do I smell bad? As it happens, I had this idea of what friendship is supposed to be among adult women with children that stay home to raise them. I thought that we should be getting together at eachother's homes and sipping coffee at the kitchen table, visiting while the children play quietly and responsibly together.
That isn't how it goes at all! We get together and spend three quarters of that time telling the children to be quiet or to get along and be quiet or how to solve their problems and be quiet and to clean up and to be quiet. We go a few weeks without saying anything significant to one another and suddenly realize it. "Oh! We haven't spoken in a long time! Quick, let's get a meaningful conversation in, I have ten minutes, you?"
I have come to believe that a busy mom that would take their one spare set of 10 minutes to have conversation with someone and make it a priority is a good friend. Moms that will add children to their carpool on a moments notice, or that will give you their last diaper, and hold the baby while you use the bathroom one of two times for that entire day. Moms that simply sweep the papers and crayons and playdough off of the table when you show up, and don't get embarrassed when you grab the broom and start helping out. Moms that don't wrinkle up their noses in disgust at the overwhelming smell of spit up radiating from your shoulder. Mom's that don't say a word about your child's new haircut when it is obvious that it was given by another small child. These are friends that make life bearable and enjoyable.
This is a season of life. I am blessed to share it with others that revel in their current state. I hope I remember these times when I move into another season. I hope to be that good friend to some other harried, tired, overloaded women with small children and an overflowing diaperbag.
Mothers of the world - breath!