Messy Pentameter

I wrote a short poem the other day. A rhyme-y one. It was quite rhyme-y.

Do you remember Ideals magazine? My grandmother used to have them. I loved them.
Anyway, this little ditty could have appeard there.

It was rather amateurish. The pantameter was unidentifiable, unless you read it in a completely sing songy voice. It was, however, heartfelt and hey, lots of my facebook friends liked it!

Here it is for you to enjoy.

How I wish that christmas cheer
would stay with us throughout the year
Not the lights and presents and trees
but the hope and goodwill that is given with ease
That our mouths would form, without a thought,
a joyous greeting more oft than not
What a place this world would be
if we chose to give more happily

How Will I be Known?

Another new year is approaching. Somehow, the arrival of another January, along with a fresh calendar for the wall, inspire retrospection and planning ahead. Something that I have come to find is really important at any time of the year.

Still, the New Year brings with it some extra measure of hope and plants stars in my eyes as I envision what things are held in the months to come. Everything looks happier, easier and more successful when I project them onto New Year.

Well, I'm tired of looking at life starry eyed, only to have the stars fade away, and take their rose colored lenses with them.

I began a new personal tradition this year. I hope it will be a tradition. I hope that my hope isn't starry.

I began my "New Year Resolutions" this month. I want to be able to say "Oh, I've been working on that since last year." Somehow, the difference of a week or two gives me the idea that failure isn't an option. That my resolutions won't stall just because I'm not used to a new routine.

I refuse to be known any more as someone that makes big extravigant plans and isn't able to see them through. Yes, I know that sometimes our plans just don't materialize. Circumstances happen. I get that. I'm not talking about never failing at anything. I'm talking about making those changes that really do make things better.

For instance, do I really want to be known for another year as a grumpy, grouchy mom who laughs only on occasion?

I really want to be a joyful mom. One who delights in her children and the wonderful job I have of raising them. Yes, I even want to be joyful about all of the tasks that come with that job.

I know how to go about achieving that goal. I have all of the tools. I know what it takes.

And I vow to do it.

I want to be known as a joyful person. One who chooses to be happy even when things don't go my way.

Heaven knows, my way is rarely the best way.

Tid Bits

Just a bit or two to get us through!

Evie Joy is eating solid food. Semi solid food? Rice flakes mixed with apple or banana. Mostly she just wants to suck it off of my finger. She isn't so thrilled with the spoon.

I'm longin for a 'pink' day. A day with my girls. I love all of my kiddos. The boys are joys. Hehe.

I just rhymed! But I would love to have some girl time.

Hubby has several days off from work. I am looking forward to this time of of (hopefully) rest.

He took the kiddos sledding today. The three yo calls his brothers "The Guys" and says that he is big now and is of the "The Guys" now too. *sigh*

Marli bug will be with us over Thanksgiving. She'll be spending some time with extended family and be involved in some of our pre-Christmas traditions!

Tid bits. The Little bits that make up The great big picture.

The 'En-En' Game

It's game a couple of the Smallers made up. They must be wearing appropriate Burn-Off Pajamas. These are either footie sleepers, or pajamas with a good clean pair of socks. You know, to make burn-offs on the hard floor more exciting. They hold their hands out in front of them as though on a steering wheel, sliding their feet across the floor saying "en, en, en!" to sound like an engine. They invite one another to "Play En-En".

They made it up. It's all their own.

I am thrilled to know that my children have active imaginations!

Focus

We had family photos done a few days ago. They came out great despite all of my worrying and stress.

I didn't know I was a worrier. I wasn't aware of how much stress I have about my chilren's safety and cleanliness.

Most folks would call me laid back. Casual. Perhaps even too easy going.

There we were, in this little park near a rushing river and a small hill climb to a major highway. Yes, one of the littlest ones climbed the hill. Yes, a couple of smalls got as near to the rushing river as they could. Of course they played on the ground, splashed through puddles, and stirred up dust that stuck to their pants and shoes.

About 45 minutes into this adventure, I was exhausted. I had chased and instructed and fretted myself into a Grouchy Grump.

When I looked through the pictures the next day, do you know what I saw? Happy kids, playing, enjoying one another. I didn't see dirt. I didn't see every potential for injury.

While I still believe I was right to fuss about the river and the highway, those were only two quick moments out of the entire hour. Those were circumstantial. Everything else was by my own choice. It was my decision to focus on what might happen, or what might go wrong, or what might show up in the photos.

The photographer focused on what was good and right. That's what I'll see when I look at our family pics this year.

Blessed to be Crazy

Once in a while, I beg for the opportunity to do something without my children. Usually some errand running. It goes by so quickly when I am not constantly counting heads, buckling and unbuckling car seats, retrieving sippy cups and pacifiers, stopping for diaper changes and potty breaks, and convincing children that the three or four stops we have left aren't that bad, really!
You see, six of the children, the ones that are at home with me all day, are too young to be left in the vehicle to wait-even if the parking space is directly in front of a very small business with windows all across the front and my stop is less than 5 minutes. It's the law, and people do not hesitate to pass judgment and/or call authorities when they perceive child endangerment!

I recently left the house without my children. It wasn't something that I particularly wanted to do. I was attending a funeral. For a newborn. Funeral receptions are social. I discovered that I don't know what to do with myself when my children are not present. No one's hand to hold. No one asking to be picked up. No one to rush off and change a diaper for, or take to the bathroom. No to clean up a spill for, or fill a plate for. No one to help eat or assist with a cup. No one to tell "sit down" or "Shhh" or "Please help your brother/sister".

While I have long envisioned this as being a short moment of relief, and the ability to return to "myself" (whomever that may be...) I had an unpleasant jolt of realization.

I do not know how to act without my children in tow. I don't know what to do with my hands, where to look, whether to sit or stand. I don't know how to get through a buffet without carrying more than one plate. More importantly, I don't know how to communicate! I am used to conversations interrupted and cut off. I am not used to carrying one on! I don't know how to approach a person and introduce myself, because I have no opportunity for it! I don't know how to be anyone other than the Crazy Lady With all the Kids!

As I left my seat to head for the bathroom, I naturally picked up bags, stray socks, a stuffed toy, and headed on my way, realizing as I opened the door, that none of these items belonged to me. I am simply used to packing things around. I walked around a corner and down a hall with these things in my hands. I apologized. Fortunately, my friend also has seven children and completely understands these moments! She was quite gracious as she retrieved her child's trappings from me.

Now you know. If I ever have the opportunity for face to face adult conversation, and I stop mid-sentence, appearing to look for something around the room, it's because I don't yet know how to do it differently for now. And I am blessed to be a little crazy!

Ewan Eliezer's Amazing Impact

I met a couple last summer at a local college reunion. My sister was coming to town, and another friend suggested we get the locals together. This couple that showed up started college the year after I left, but was in the school at the same time as some others there.
They shared about how they met, and re-met, decided to get married, and how God was working in their lives.
These are people about whom you cannot help but recognize the light of God. It radiates from their being and touches everyone around them. I thought about them from time to time over the past year. Wondering about them. Hoping to get int touch with them and keep up with their 'Jesus adventures'.
I heard a couple of weeks ago that they had a baby! How wonderful! But their baby is sick. While they welcomed this beloved, much hoped for life into their family, they had, immediately to give his life, the survival of his flesh, over to God.
Most of us that call ourselves christians say that we give our children back to God. That we know they aren't ours to hold selfishly, with the tight grip of a parent that wants no harm to come to their child.
James and Kirsten were put in on the front lines of the battle for their child immediately. They have a fantastic army of Dr.'s, surgeons, nurses, and prayer warriors.
This doesn't change the fact that Ewan Eliezer has a broken heart. For one week and 6 days, Ewan has been fighting for his life. He has had ups and downs. The answers to desperate prayer have been too brief, sliding his life into precarious balance again.
This morning, Ewan's parents have to make the choice to let their precious little boy slip from this life into the everlasting arms of the one who created him, or send him into a surgery that may rupture his arteries. Something that may still take him from this world, but without the comforting arms of his parents on that journey.
I cannot imagine the pain and desperation of such a decision. As it is in this moment, all seven of my children are healthy and whole. Their flesh is intact. I do not mourn for broken bodies.
While I know that physical safety is not, by far, the most amazing gift that God gives, it is, by the standard of my flesh, one of them.
God, my heart cries to you for Kirsten, James and Ewan. You know the pain of giving up your only Son. You knew that your precious lamb would be salvation for the lost. Humanity knows nothing of your mystery. Of your plan. Of how Ewan's life impacts your Kingdom. We can see snippets. We can see the hundreds upon hundreds of people praying in unison for Ewan. We can see the beautiful witness of Kirsten and James as they continue to persevere in their faith.
I know what it is to hold my babies, to snuggle them close, to wake to their cries and comfort them, fully expecting that they will wake the next morning, healthy and growing.
Kirsten and James do not.
God, please, be clear in the direction that you have for these saints. Allow them the peace that you promise to the ones that love you. God, today, fill their empty arms with your grace and comfort.
And selfishly, crying from my flesh to see this couple know the joy I have as a parent, please create a miracle within Ewan's body. It pains me to know that you always answer prayer, but that it isn't always the way I want it to be. It hurts me to think that your ways, though higher and better than my own, are not the way I would have them.
Still, I have hope, and I can not but tell you about that hope. To be honest and open in my prayer.

Mom! Thanks for Saving the Legos!

Every time sweep the floor, I pluck them out of the dust. Every time I travel down the hall, I pluck them from my tender feet.
The hours of enjoyment, the amazing creations, those are thanks enough.

Simple Pleasures

I was sitting at the table this morning, sipping on a cup of coffee, the heaters were purring, and the rain was lashing outside, never pausing for a rest. Feeling a bit chilly, I thought I'd get a blanket to wrap up in. Before I left my chair, I heard my three year old patter down the hall. He greeted my with a sleepy smile.
"It's time to wake up?" he asked.
"Yes, sweetheart, it is." I replied. With a hopeful look, he asked "I can sit with you?"
"Yes, my precious baby." I tell him. "You may."
He climbed up on my lap, wrapped his little arms around my neck and rested his little head on my shoulder.
I breathed in his clean little boy scent. It was so much more gratifying than even the smell of my coffee on this dark stormy morning. His precious need for mommy warmed me through better than any blanket could have today.

something new

I want to do something new. Something else. I want to write. I've been reading The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. It's a great book. Slow in the beginning. Really, you don't get the two 'heroes' together until the middle of the novel, but then things take off quickly from there. The story is built up well. the characters evolve beautifully. I have feelings about each character.
Any how, it has me excited again about writing - anything - I guess. I'll be digging out the notebook in the quiet, wee hours!

Unstoppable

He was unstoppable. A brilliant military leader, and a strong spiritual influence.
Because of his unstoppable faith, an entire nation followed his Godly example. He was Joshua, leader of the Israelites, appointed by God.

What made Joshua –and the nation of Israel, unstoppable? When God spoke, Joshua listened and obeyed. He was committed to obeying God. He didn’t have a secret formula, or one particular friend that prayed in a darkened corner. Joshua’s faith was constant. He obeyed God in this direct command. When God appointed Joshua as leader of His nation, He said “Be strong and courageous, for you must bring the people of Israel into the land I swore to give them. I will be with you.” Deuteronomy 31:33. Joshua obeyed this command

Joshua 7:7-9 is Joshua's honest prayer. There was trouble, and he didn’t understand why. He pleaded with God. He opened himself up and shared the defeat that Israel was experiencing. He wondered why God had allowed them to fail. He received an answer. He listened, and obeyed.

When Joshua encountered a setback-and this one was huge-he didn’t stop. He didn’t give up. He obeyed. Joshua decided to follow his Lord wherever He led, and whatever it cost.

What stops us? What stops you? What stops the body of Christ at Monroe Community Chapel?
Could we become unstoppable?

By staying in touch with God, we will have the needed wisdom to meet the great challenges of life (Joshua 7:7-9). Loving God means more than being enthusiastic about Him. We must complete all the work he gives us and apply his instructions to every corner of our lives. Being unstoppable for, in, and through God doesn’t happen only when and if it’s convenient. Sometimes, it just isn’t! God’s work done in God’s way will bring His success. Our strength to do His work comes from trusting Him. We have choices. We can choose to allow God to make us unstoppable

Proof of Love?

I heard someone say that obedience isn't the result of serving God, but proof of how much we love Him.
I chewed on that for a while. I wasn't sure I agreed. The more I turned that over in my mind, the more I was convicted about my 'proof of love' for God.
Do I obey the way I teach my kids to obey? Right away, all the way, and with a joyful heart.
uh, nope.
If it were a result of something, it would get easier. Obedience would be natural and would flow evenly.
It doesn't. Not for me, anyway. Obedience is an effort. It's a choice, and not always an easy one.

Pregnant...still

Yep. Still. About 2 months left.
Aches
Pains
Discomfort
Acid Reflux
Exhaustion
Lethargy
I've been pregnant for a total of 62 months out of my lifetime.
Good thing those littles are worth every moment...