Saturday, September 20, 2008

Batteling Corsets and Girdles

PeeWee Football at 9 am Every Saturday Morning! WooHoo! Who can say no to that? I'll tell you who. Anyone that isn't a parent of a PeeWee Football player. Six games into the season, and nary a relative has arrived at a game. My PeeWee has invited everyone. Really. If you have met him in the last six weeks, he has invited you to a game.
Moms, Dads, and sometimes reluctant siblings rise by six to get a hearty breakfast into said PeeWee and get the child outfitted before heading out the door. PeeWee has to arrive at the field an hour early for warm up and roster check.
In this family, Dad's work schedule included Saturday. That means Mom has the privilege of out fitting the little footballer.
Oh my.
Have you any idea how many pads come with the uniform? There are pockets and slots everywhere on the pants, including a pair of mesh undies with slots. Correction. These are not 'mesh undies, MOM. It's a girdle!' oh. that's much better. My big, bad, shoulder padded, football playing boy is on the field wearing a padded girdle.
After having inserted the pads backward and in all the wrong places, my 7 year old instructs me to please lace up his pants. silence. Laced up pants? It makes the stretchy pants go all around the pads and still close in front, keeping everything in. Sounds like a corset.
There he is, on the field wearing a uniform with skulls and crossbones on it, wearing a girdle and a corset.
Now the shoulder pads. Does the jersey actually fit over the shoulder pads? And how does one remove the helmet from little PeeWee's head without actually detaching the ears?
We managed to get everything together this morning. Arrived at the field closer to on time than really late, still good. Warm ups begin. I sink down in my folding chair, which suddenly seems incredibly comfy and cozy, when PeeWee approaches.
'Mom. I need you to take me to the bathroom.'

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