Thursday, August 23, 2012

Friends. Do You Have Some?

Friends. Do y'all have them? I don't mean acquaintances. I'm not talking about the people that you only see at church on Sunday morning. Co-workers that you never associate with outside of work don't make the cut, either.
I am talking about people that know you. The ones that you share the nitty gritty, warts and all, real you with. The people that you know and love anyway. The people that you trust, and that trust you. The people that tell you when you are stupid, that love you through the stupid, and that give you a hand up into smart.
Do you have those people?
If not, are you searching for them? Are you working on BEING one of them?
I have a hard time sharing myself. Yeah, I write a blog, and I share some of myself here. It's kind of a safe place, because-well-I can't see you.
If you were sitting in my kitchen with a cup of coffee, I'd probably spend most of our conversation being funny, or looking into my coffee or down at the floor if I actually needed to confess something, or confront someone.
Oh, terrible, awful, horrible confrontation. I have a friend that has made it clear that if I need to tell her something, you know, important, I need to make it perfectly clear. No subtlety.  I need to come right out and say "Shut up, stupid!"
Do you have any idea how freeing that is for someone like me?
I used to believe that I have a dislike for confrontation because I am reserved and don't like to argue.
I now know that I hate confrontation because I am timid and I don't want people to dislike me.
It has been far more important to me that someone think well of me, then that I speak up when they are saying or doing something destructive.
To know that I can tell someone who loves me regardless to 'stop it!' or to 'shut up!', gently and in love, of course, and I will still be loved is nothing short of amazing.
I take criticism pretty well. I'm a teachable person. If I was wrong, and you tell me so, I'll probably feel stung, sure. Who likes being told they are wrong? I will, however, consider it in prayer and in context, and learn from it. Will I thank you for it? Maybe. I'd love to be able to say I absolutely will every time in every situation, but gosh, admitting that I was wrong is tough. Obviously another character trait I need to work on.

Friends. Get one!

I will be working through Girl Talk: Getting Past the Chit Chat by Jen Hatmaker. It's tough for me to get together on a weekly basis with women, because I educate my kids at home and I have lots of 'em in a little house. My proposal is to work through this study with women via email, or facebook chat, or both.
The link I provided is to the Amazon hard copy for the book. It is also available on Kindle, and Nook and through Barnes and Noble.
Please email me at This email is set up for this blog only.
Looking forward to getting to know you!


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