Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Unfinished Projects

We all have unfinished projects. Right? I'm sure it isn't just me.
I am a procrastinator. I do my best work under pressure. I know this about myself.
So, if there isn't any pressure, whatever it is probably won't be finished.
An afghan that I started for my husband six years ago. It's almost lap sized.
A sweater that I started for my daughter before she was born. She's 8 now. The sweater was newborn size.
The mop boards are still not put back after we replaced our flooring. Five years ago.
There's an area on a wall in my daughters' room where I started to paint. Three years ago.
None of these projects had a deadline. None had to be done in order for another project to begin.
Not one of these projects were more important than the numerous other projects that DID get finished instead.
I prefer quick, non-messy, easy-to-assemble project. When it comes to crafty projects, I prefer beading, hot gluing, quick drying ink and stamp projects, double sided tape, begin and end in the same day with instant results type of projects.
And I have children. Lots of children. TheZoo, as we affectionately refer to ourselves.
Children are not quick, non-messy, easy-to-assemble, instant results type of projects.
They are ongoing investments. They require sweat, blood and tears. There are mile stones along they way, and the project doesn't end. The results are on going. There IS pressure to do this well. Really, to do it at all.
This isn't my favorite kind of project.
To be honest, I don't even like this kind of project.
I am learning to love it, though. Parenting my children, that is.
When I look at the road ahead in our journey with little ones growing into bigger ones, it often looks endless. The forks in the road feel harrowing. The heartache of sometimes taking the wrong bend and having to turn around sometimes feels debilitating.
But this can not go the way of the afghan, or the sweater, or the mop boards.
It must go the way of repetition. It must go the way of patience. It must go the way of waiting, watching, and guiding.
I'm not good at this, but I'm learning along the way.
I don't like this, but strangely, I love it.
It is agonizingly difficult, but gloriously worth every single moment. 


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