Friday, June 22, 2012

From a Mom Who Sometimes Drowns


What? You aren't delighted by your children 24/7?
You don't revel in their childishness at every moment?
You need a break sometimes?
What kind of parent are you?
I have had mothers tell me that I shouldn't *want* to be apart from my family. That I shouldn't *need* to be away from my children. That I should choose joy in my daily duties, and fulfillment in the life I have.
Let me be clear. I do choose joy, and I choose to be fulfilled.
There are, however, days, weeks, or months that are horror filled.
These times leave me ragged and exhausted. I need a break. From my children. The ones that I love and wouldn't trade for anything.
Sometimes I need a quiet couple of hours after they go to bed.
Sometimes I need a day of being alone, or with other adults.
Sometimes I long for a weekend of refreshment.

Yes, there are days when Mr. TheZoo comes home from working a long, difficult, tiring day, and I tell him that "you need to please go take care of the discipline now, because if I continue, it won't be discipline, it will be punishment borne from my fatigue." He understands, and helps.
He realized that we both have difficult jobs, that we are both grateful for the jobs we have, and that we both need breaks from our jobs.

Please, don't even let the idea of a family vacation escape your brain. Family vacation, for mom, equals all the things she does at home, but on the move in some new environment. Often, it's a dirtier environment, and it includes keeping the children from falling in rivers, or fires, or off of cliffs, or from getting lost in crowds.

How does this resemble relaxing? How does this constitute a break?

It DOESN'T!!!

Yeah, I just yelled there.

Please, if you have a minute, and you know moms with little ones, please offer to help out a bit.
I don't mean for an hour, or even two hours.

If she lives in a place like I do, it takes that long just to get to someplace. Offer for the afternoon.
Really.

Here's my ideal rest afternoon.

I want to peruse darling little shops that I can not enter with my children.  I have a creative mind, and seeing things other people have done sparks ideas.  I can't take a passel of littles into those tiny cramped shops with all the darling breakables and valuable antiques.

I want to hangout in a bookstore or library. Not run in, grab the book I need, and run out. I want to peruse. I want to look at the book covers and read the backs. I want to flip through books and sample bits and pieces before choosing what to leave with.

I want to sit in a coffee shop and read, and/or visit with a friend. Uninterrupted.

I'm not entirely certain that I still know how to carry on a conversation without stopping midsentence to take care of some minor emergency. I'd like to find out, though.

When you see a mom of small ones raising their hand up in the international distress signal for drowning, please be available to toss out the life preserver.

It doesn't have to be for a full weekend, just one afternoon!

And, hey, you've raised your kiddos, right? You know how to do this!

Thanks.

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1 comment:

Unknown said...

This is how We all feel at times- Loved this blog :-)